Compatible Romance
by snheetah
Summary: Brian Griffin meets a blond beauty at a restaurtant and feels that she is the one for him. While he is on a camping trip with his family and friends, he encounters this mink once again and sees that she is more than what he realized. Peter's friends, not knowing Brian's love for the mink, decide to use Brian to hunt her for her fur. Would he do this to satisfy his owners?
1. Blond Beauty

**I don't own Family Guy or Animaniacs**

**Hey guys, this couple spontenously came into my mind one day so I'm just doing a little experiment. Hope ya'll like it. **

* * *

Soft jazz music played throughout the restaurant as a lonely white dog waited for his date to come. This dog was a white Labrador named Brian Griffin. An educated, mature dog with a passion for writing, art, music, and alcohol. Right now, he was sitting at a restaurant table waiting for his date to arrive. This girl…he had no idea how he fell in love with her. He had met her at one of the book clubs that he had gone to. At first she was nice but after being with her for a month, she turned a little mean. She could call him in the middle of day every single second, demanding where he was, what he was doing, and with whom he was with. Where was _she_? Brian had been waiting for almost two hours for her to. Brian suddenly sighed as he got up from his table and walked over to the bar.

"One martini please," he asked the bartender. The bartender threw some ice cubs into the martini shaker and then the white liquid. He shook the martini shaker and poured it into an elegant glass. He put the glass closer to Brian who took it in his hand and slowly sipped the alcoholic drink.

_What the hell is taking her so long_? Brian suddenly thought. He kept looking at the door but all the women, though they were awfully pretty, were not her. _Whatever _he thought after some time had passed by.

"A table for two please," he heard a soft feminine voice from behind him. Thinking that it was his girlfriend, Brain turned around only to see that it wasn't her but someone else. What he saw was not a human but a different creature. She had a small pink triangular nose, blond hair, lavender eyes shadow, blue heeled shoes, a silky blue dress that perfectly fit her body, and a black strap wrapped around her neck. Brian's eyes followed her figure as she sat down to a table, which was the same table to where he was sitting.

"Thank you," he heard her thank the waiter as he handed her the menus, "he will be here…eventually." She sounded a bit peeved at the last part. After the waiter had left, the mink let out a sigh and rested her cheek in one hand.

_Maybe she just needs some company _Brian thought. However, he couldn't just walk in on her like that. He or she had to do something so the other would react. Brian didn't know what do to so he waited for her to do something.

This white mink sat as still as she could on the table. Her hands were folded on her lap and she stared at the door. Brian followed her gaze and noticed that she was in the same situation that he was in. All the more reason for the two of them to be acquainted. Then again, after this night he was never going to see her again so why not take a chance?

Brian hopped off the chair and walked over to her table. "Uhh…" he stuttered, "h-h-hi?" he greeted her in a questionable fashion. _Smooth _he thought.

The mink turned to look at him and her lips curled into a smile. "Hello to you too," she greeted him.

_Say something_! a voice screamed in his mind. "Would you mind if I sat here?" he asked as he grabbed the chair with his hands.

"Sure, why not?" she said as Brian pulled the chair from the table and sat down.

"I'm Brian by the way, Brian Griffin," he extended his hand to her.

"Minerva Mink," she answered as she delicately put her hand in his and lightly shook it. She removed her hand from his and rested her cheek in it. "So what's a handsome dog like you doing in a place like this?"

Brian mentally smiled. Looks like this little meeting was off to a good start. "I am waiting for my date to come. How about you?" he asked her.

The mink, Minerva, slowly shrugged her shoulders and said, "the same. When I make plans with him he is always late."

"That's the same situation that I'm in," Brian told her. "There's this girl that I am waiting for and I have been waiting for two hours for her to come."

Minerva gave him a small and sad smile. "Just when I thought that my life was going to take a positive turn. I haven't had much luck with boys that I find handsome."

"Me too," Brian said, "but with women of course."

Minerva chuckled. "I knew what you meant," she folded her hands and rested her small chin on top of them, "tell me what your love life is like."

Brian nervously chuckled when he asked her that. "No much success that's for sure. I mean I have dumped them myself or they have dumped me. One of them also cheated on me."

"You poor thing," Minerva sympathetically said, "one dog acted like a yutz when he saw me." She remembered that time when this black and blue dog named Newt was trying to catch her but he fell in love with her instead.

"I would act like a yutz too," Brian said but he immediately put his hand on his lips when he said that.

"Well don't," Minerva said, "it's highly unattractive." She didn't admit that she acted like a fool when she saw handsome boys, like that time when she met her best friend's—Trudy—cousin. Not to mention that he was her date and he was always late and never paid for anything.

The upbeat music suddenly changed into a slow, smooth jazz as some couples went to the dance floor and danced with each other. Minerva turned her head and looked at the dancers. She wished that she was dancing with someone instead of just sitting here and waiting.

Brain felt the same way. If his girlfriend was here, the would be dancing by now and having a good time. He looked back at Minerva and sensed that she was wishing the same thing he was. He suddenly felt a little connection between them. "Would you like to dance?" he asked her.

"Oh I would love to," Minerva said, "if only I wasn't waiting for my date."

Brian nodded his head. "Okay," he said, "I would have said no too if a girl asked me to dance," he nervously chuckled.

Minerva folded her arms across her chest and leaned back to her chair. "It goes to show you how much you appreciate your date." Her eyes lifted when she saw a brown mink with Elvis Presley-like brown hair walking into the restaurant. "And he has finally come," Minerva said.

Brian turned around and looked at the male mink approaching the table. He was wearing a white shirt, a leather jacket, and blue pants with brown shoes. A lollipop stick hung out of his mouth. "I should probably go," Brian said as he slipped out of the table. "It was a pleasure to have met you, Minerva," he smiled at her.

Minerva gave him a smile. This time it was warm and kind. "Same here Brian. I hope we see each other again."

Brian gave her nod followed by a small smile as he walked away from the table and saw the male mink sitting down to where he was. He noticed that the mink coldly stared at Minerva after Brian had left. He only hoped that she wouldn't get hurt by whatever he had to say. Brian decided not to wait any longer for his date. It was ten o'clock in the evening and she never showed up. _So much for a romantic date _he thought as he left the restaurant and headed back home.


	2. Drink to your Misery

**I don't own Family Guy or the Animaniacs**

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_What a dinner that was _Brian thought as he miserably walked back home. He didn't understand that not all of his time had gone to waste. He had met a very attractive mink that he suddenly liked, but they were rudely interrupted by her date. _Who the hell was that guy anyway? _he asked himself when he thought of the brown mink that had sat down next to her. The look of disapproval on his face gave Brian that suspicion that he wasn't such a good date for her. He had also noticed the look that she had given him and how she was complaining about him. _She deserved better _Brian thought. Since he was alone during that time, and that he was going to breakup with his girlfriend in the near future, he should have gotten a chance with her.

Speaking of dates, his own date wasn't always this late. Sometimes she was right on time, sometimes she wasn't. Had she forgotten? Brian passed by an apartment building but a familiar voice made it way to his ears. His ears perked up when he heard the voice of a female followed by a man's voice. He walked back to the window and noticed that it was left open. He knew that he would be invading someone's privacy, but that female voice was so familiar to him, the he swore that it was his girlfriend who was supposed to be on a date with him. He put his hands on the windowsill and pulled up his body. He slowly moved a curtain away only to see a heart breaking image.

In the room was a woman with blond curly hair. Next to her was a guy with short brown hair. He had his hand around her waist and he forcefully pulled her closer to his body and deeply kissed her. Brian was deeply crushed to see his girlfriend betray him like that. He admitted that the past relationships he was in didn't have much luck but he never cheated on any them. This woman reminded him Carolyn who had cheated on him with Cleveland and then with Quagmire. What the hell? None of these relationships were working!

He jumped away from the windowsill and buried his hands in his pockets. This would explain why she was always late when he made plans with her. This would also explain why she kept calling him 'Dave' instead of Brian. _You no good bitch! _Brain wanted to scream at her. The more he thought about her, the more his blood boiled. He never wanted to see her again. He took out his phone and immediately erased her from his contacts. He wanted nothing to do with her anymore.

He walked down the street and took a right turn where he came upon his home. He opened the door and entered the house. "Hey Brian," his owner, Peter Griffin, greeted him when he walked him, "you've been away for a long time. How was your date?" he asked.

"Don't want to talk about it," Brian sighed as he walked away from the family and went into the kitchen.

"Well excuse us for asking," Stewie said as he folded his arms across his chest.

Lois looked back at the kitchen with a worried look on her face. "He seems upset," she announced.

"Eh, he'll get over it," Peter said.

* * *

In the kitchen, Brian opened a cabinet and pulled out a bottle of alcohol. He took out a martini glass and poured the white liquid into the glass. He tipped the glass over his lips and let the cold, yet powerful, liquid burn his throat. It wasn't good to be angry and drink away his sorrows but this was the only solution that would make him feel any better. After the fourth glass, the room was beginning to spin. He softly put his head on the table and then a hand over the back oh his head. _Screw her _he thought about his girlfriend. _She was nothing to me! _Tears welled up in his eyes and dripped down his face.

_I have to forget about her! _he scolded himself. _She is nothing anymore but only a piece of meat with two eyes that has to be fed to wolves!_ When Carolyn had cheated on him, he felt unappreciated. His feeling were mutual about this girl too. He wished never to see her face again.

He slowly raised up his head and looked at the martini glass that was in his grip. He took the bottle and poured the remaining liquid into the glass. He put the rim of glass into his lips and drank every last drop of alcohol that was left. _Here's to you Rachel and whoever your new boyfriend is_ he thought about that cheater _may your lives be miserable. _With that, he put the bottle on the counter, the martini glass in the sink, and he went upstairs to go to sleep.


	3. Camping Trip

**I don't own Family Guy**

* * *

_Brian opened his eyes and looked to the left and right. He was right in the middle of a lush forest where animals were prancing about. "What am I doing here?" he mumbled to himself as he stood up on his two feet and walked about. Had he taken a wrong direction from home and ended up in a forest instead? While he was walking around, he spotted a small house that was located near a blue pond. He pondered whether he should ask for directions to go back home, but it seemed unnecessary. He was a dog and he could smell his way home. _

_Suddenly, a little blue bird fell out of a tree branch and into the grass. Brian jumped back and peered over at the bird. The bird's eyes were wide, his beak was open into a smile and his tongue lapped out of his beak. Brian took a closer look at the bird's pupils and saw that they were in the shape of hearts. Suddenly, the bird flapped his wings and let out a loud wolf whistle and flew away from Brian. Brian raised an eyebrow and decided to follow the bird._

_He pushed away a tree branch that was standing in the way and came upon a girl that was sitting on a rock. The blue bird was perched on her shoulder and oogling at her. The girl knitted her eyebrows together and said, "please bird, leave me alone."_

_Brian gasped. That voice. Those blond hair. That white fur. It was her! Damn it, what was her name again? Brian yelled in his head as he pondered for her name. I know it started with an 'M.' Minnie, Molly, Min-"Minerva!" he yelled and caught the mink's attention._

_Minerva slowly raised her eyelids and looked at the white lab standing in front of her. She closed a blue book with a key and put it back inside her shirt. "Well," she said as she rested the book on her lap and folded her hands on the book, "if it isn't Brian Griffin," she said with a smile._

_Brian thought that his heart exploded. She remembered who he was even though they had met hours ago. If it was hours ago, then why was it suddenly sunny outside? Brian nervously chuckled, "I didn't know that you remembered me."_

_"How can I forget you?" she said as she got up from the rock and walked closer to him. "You made me feel special that night."_

_I did? Brian thought. He didn't know that he had such power to make women feel special...especially a mink. "I even broke up with that no good mink that rudely interrupted us," she said, "I am never going to talk to Trudy again," she scoffed at her former best friend. _

_"Then I guess that you are free," Brian said with hope. He hoped that she could give him a chance. After all, he didn't have much luck with others._

_"I am if you are," she said with a sly smile._

_"Yes!" Brian immediately said. Damn, I sounded too desperate, he thought. "Are you sure that we aren't rushing into anything? I mean, we both broke up with our exes." But I don't want to wait. I want her to be with me, he thought._

_"No," Minerva shook her head, "I don't think that any of them would care. Since you broke up with your girlfriend, she wasn't good enough for you, but I am. Since I broke up with that boyfriend of mine, he wasn't good enough for me, but...you...are," she said as she softly poked him on the chest._

_"Then-" Brian was about to say but she put a delicate finger on his lips._

_"Shhh," she said, "don't speak but kiss me!" She put her hands on his snout and as she was about to pull him closer..._

"BRIAN!" a voice interrupted his dream.

Brian yelped as he jumped in his seat and looked around. He looked at his left and saw Stewie standing by the table. "Stewie, what the hell?" he yelled, "don't do that! You just woke me up from a good dream."

"Yeah, yeah," Stewie ignored his anger, "any dream that involves women are good for you."

_And she was about to kiss me! _Brian wanted to yell at Stewie but he avoided doing so. He shielded his eyes as the sun's rays streaked through the window and into his eyes. He suddenly looked at his hand and saw that he was still grasping the martini glass. Had he been sleeping in the living room all night? He straightened his back and felt a warm blanket slip off his shoulders and onto the floor. He pushed the chair away from the table and slipped onto the floor.

"Man you're a mess," Stewie commented as he looked at Brian's messed up hair and clothes.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Brian snapped, taking off the black jacket that he had been wearing on his date night.

Stewie put his hands on his hips and glared at the dog. "What's gotten your tail in a twist?" he asked.

"It's Rachel, okay?" Brian finally poured out his emotions at Stewie. "She was supposed to meet me yesterday at the restaurant but instead I caught her making out with some lame guy!" he tore the tie from his neck and threw it on the floor. "This is the second time that this has happened to me! I never want to see her again."

"And you're mad about that?" Stewie asked. "Come on Brian, you move from one girl and go to another, which always ends in a disaster."

"My relationships do not end in disasters!" Brian pointed his index finger at Stewie, "and the longest relationship that I had was with Jillian and it was great until she broke up with me! Look, I am sick and tired of these relationships. They keep backfiring on me!"

"Okay, okay," Stewie said, "relax there or you'll transform just like The Hulk."

Suddenly, Peter, Lois, Meg, and Chris walked into the kitchen. Brian immediately picked up his jacket and tie and said his good mornings to the family. "Brian have you been sleeping down here all this time?" Lois asked with a concerned voice.

"Uhh...yeah," Brian dragged out the word. He usually slept on Lois's and Peter's bed but last night, he just wanted to be alone.

"And have you been drinking?" Peter asked as he caught a whiff of alcohol from Brian's breath and noticed the bottle and martini glass on the table.

"That too," Brian admitted.

"Either a famous jazz musician died, or your date didn't go very well," Peter commented as he pulled out a chair and sat down.

Brian let out a sigh and he pulled out a chair and sat down himself. Lois took Stewie in her arms and placed him in his high chair while Meg and Chris sat at their regular seats. Brian wasn't really in the mood to eat but his stomach was gurgling and he hated that noise. "I caught her cheating on me," Brian finally said.

"Was she hot?" Peter asked.

Brian lifted his hands away from his eyes and glared at Peter.

"Peter!" Lois snapped, "be nice to Brian's feelings. Look Brian, I hate it how every woman that you have dated takes advantage and breaks up with you. They are just not the right girls to date. Maybe you should lay off dating girls."

"But I can't do that," Brian said, "I would love to be in a serious relationship with someone that I love."

"And I also want you to be happy," Lois said, "this is not a very healthy thing that you're doing."

"She's right Brian," Peter said, "not healthy."

_Shut up Peter, you don't even know what's going on _Brian thought. He didn't like thinking such things about his owner but he wasn't up to any sarcasm. "If I do that, then would I be more likely to have a successful relationship."

"It's possible," Lois said. Then an idea struck into her head, "that and a little vacation for all of us."

"Vacation?!" Chris jumped in his seat and slammed his hands on the table, "where? Where? Where?" he flapped his hands until they made contact with a glass of orange juice. The glass slipped off the table and landed onto Meg's shirt.

"Ew, Chris!" Meg yelled as she jumped out her seat and looked at her wet shirt, "what they hell?"

"Shut up Meg, now is not the time for your girl problems," Chris said as he turned his attention back to Lois, "where mom? Where?"

"Well, we haven't been comping before," Lois said.

Both Meg and Chris groaned. "Camping?" Meg whined, "mom, who wants to be connected to Mother Nature and get attacked by ticks?"

"We have never been camping before and it would be a great opportunity for all of us to be with the wilderness for a while," Lois said, "and that means no cell phones or computers allowed."

"Aww," the two teenagers moaned.

"Maybe Quagmire and Joe would like to go," Peter suggested, "I don't think that they have gone camping before."

"Ask them to come," Lois said, "it would fun if they could tag along."

_This camping trip sounds like fun _Brian thought. _It would help me keep my mind off Rachel for a change. _And that would help him indeed.


	4. Negotiations

**I don't own Family Guy or Animaniacs**

**I also had major help from Knight of Renaissance Light with this chapter. Adam West and Stewie going after the rare white fur and Peter bringing up the Native Americans and the French traders and their conversations were from him. Thank you so much for the help! :D**

* * *

After Lois's announcement about the camping trip made Peter jump up from the table and run into his room. He ran over to the window and picked up a gray can with a black string that was tied to the end of it lied on the carpet floor. "Joe, Joe," Peter said into the can. His voice traveled down the string and into a knot that connected two more strings that came from Joe's and Quagmire's windows. Peter's voice traveled to both windows instead of going to Joe's window only.

"Peter?" Quagmire's voice came.

"Not you, I want to talk to Joe," Peter said into the can.

"Quagmire?" Joe's voice finally came through the line.

"Uh yeah," Quagmire spoke, "Peter wants to talk to you."

"What's up?" Joe said into the can.

Both Peter and Quagmire began talking at the same time. "Shut up! I'm trying to talk to Joe!" Peter yelled into the can, "okay you know what? This retro phone thing is to confusing," he threw the can to the floor and popped his head out the window. "Joe, Quagmire!" he called, "look out your window!"

"What?" both men called as they looked out their window. Although, Quagmire's head came out from the side of his window sill while a blond woman lay on top of him.

"Lois and I are planning on going on a camping trip with our kids. Do ya guys want to come with us?" Peter asked them.

Quagmire's eyes raised to the skies as he began to think about the offer. "Can I bring one of my-" he was about to ask until Peter interrupted him with a loud 'no.'

"Jesus Christ Quagmire, we'll have kids there," Peter answered. He turned his head and waited for Joe's answer.

"Well I have never been on a camping trip. Sure why not?"

"Yes," Peter said as he formed his hand into a fist and pulled it closer to his body. "We're getting ready to leave today in the afternoon. See ya then." With that he pulled himself away from the window and headed downstairs. As he ran downstairs, he went into a fit of giggles and he shook his fists in the air, "Lois, Lois, Lois," he said in a girl-like voice as he moved his feet in a jittery fashion. "They said yes."

Lois turned off the sink and turned to look at Peter. "Then we might as well get ready for that trip then."

* * *

_A camping trip may not be so bad _Brian thought as he was packing some necessities with him. His bag consisted of jazz music, a hammock, and a portable CD player with chargeable batteries. "I think I have everything that I need," he said to himself. He rolled up a sleeping bag and carried it with him downstairs. When he reached the living room, he noticed that the family was ready. Peter wore his usual green pants but atop of that, he wore a fishing hat and jacket, and carried a fishing pole in one hand.

Meg, Chris, Lois, and Stewie wore the same clothes that they always wore. "So are we ready to go?" Lois suddenly asked them.

"Yep," Peter answered, "doors are locked, windows are closed, and the basement downstairs that I never knew about is closed to."

"Peter we have always had that basement," Lois reminded him.

"No, no Lois," Peter said, "I meant the basement in the basement."

"There's a second basement in the basement?" Brian asked him.

"Yes Brian, and who knows maybe there's a third basement in the second basement that's on the first basement. Maybe a fourth basement that's in the third basement-" Peter was saying.

"Oh enough already!" Stewie yelled as he shot his arms in the air, "let's get going already, you're cutting into my tanning time."

On that note, the Griffins walked out of their home, locked their doors and approached their red car. Peter noticed Joe and his wife Bonnie approaching their car and jumping inside. Peter turned his head and noticed Quagmire walking over to his driveway with the red shirt that he normally wore and blue pants. "Jeeze Quagmire, you were supposed to get ready by now!"

"I am ready," Quagmire said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box that was decorated in pictures of seductive women wearing nothing but black panties, black high-heeled shoes, and black brassieres.

Peter squinted at the small box. "What is that?" he asked as he pointed to the miniature box.

"My camping stuff," Quagmire said, "camping clothes, food, matches...a sexy lady," he muttered the last words.

"Huh," Peter said, "I should probably get one of those things. Okay, if you're ready." He turned and was about to get inside his car.

"Wait," Quagmire called as he held out his hand and grabbed Peter's arm, "there's just one problem. My car doesn't work and it's at the mechanics."

"When did your car break down?" Peter asked.

"Jesus Peter, I already told you this," Quagmire snapped, "can I just ride with you guys?"

"What _did _happen to your car?" Peter asked.

Quagmire let out a sigh. He had told Peter this story yesterday when it happened. He was driving down a road with a brunette until she decided to jump into his driver's seat, sit on his lap and kiss him. He had collided into a tree, the woman had flow off his lap and landed somewhere into the forest, and now his care was into the mechanics. "The bitch wasn't thinking straight. Can I just ride with you guys?"

"Okay fine," Peter finally answered, "but you'll be squished in there."

Peter walked into the driver's seat while Quagmire opened the door of the car and sat in the back seat. When he sat down, Brian collided with Stewie's car seat, Chris collided into Brian, and Meg collided into Chris. "Hey guys," Quagmire tried his best to wave at the kids and the dog and more importantly to Lois.

"Quagmire's coming with us," Peter simply said as he started to car.

"That's quite alright," Lois said. She turned around and looked at Quagmire, "thanks for coming with us. It's going to be so much fun."

"Oh hey no problem," Quagmire said, "I love camping trips."

Once Peter's car was into the road, he swerved his car to the left and drove down the road with Joe's car following after him. As they were driving, Meg's voice rang through the car. "Mom! Mr. Quagmire's touching me."

"Shut up Meg," Peter said.

"Heh, al-right," Quagmire responded to that incident as he cocked his head forward, back, and forward again.

* * *

The Griffins had ridden for almost forty-five minutes and Brian felt his eyes slowly closing. _Maybe I should take a little nap _he thought as he bought his two hands together and put them on the side of his face. The car ride was even putting him to sleep.

"Do you guys want the windows open?" Peter asked as he opened the windows in the back.

The cool breeze suddenly hit Brian's face. Brian jerked up in his seat, ran over to an opened window, and shot out his head into the rushing wind. "This is the life!" he yelled as the rushing cool breeze hit his face. "Hey Joe, hey Bonnie," he called out and waved to the car that was following Peter's.

The car suddenly slowed down as the Griffins came upon a toll. The cashier was wearing blue pants and a green shirt with white stripes descending from the collar and had gray hair. "Mayor Adam West?" Lois said in surprise when she saw the man at the toll booth.

"Hey Griffins," Mayor West said, "where are you going in this lovely afternoon?"

"We're going camping," Chris suddenly answered the mayor, "it's gonna be fun."

"Are you planning on hunting for anything?" West asked as he took Peter's ticket that he picked up from the previous toll. "You make a lot of money that way."

"You do?" Peter asked, suddenly taking an interest in this.

"Absolutely," the mayor answered. He held a couple of dollars and coins in his hand, "especially from white mink fur. Although those things are rare these days. I have been planning on getting my hands on one."

"Maybe they went extinct," Lois spoke up.

"Oh no," Adam answered with a shake of his head, "I am in pursuit of one. If only someone would find it for me and I would pay them big money."

"How much money?" Peter asked.

"Millions," Adam simply said, "if you get me that rare white fur, then we have a deal."

Stewie's eyes grew wide when he heard Peter and Adam West making a deal with each other. _Not if I'm the first one to get it_ he thought. _I would rather wrap myself in a gossamer white blanket than those sheets that wench wraps me in. __  
_

"You got it," Peter said as he started to drive away from the toll and back into the road. As they were driving, Peter's mind traveled back to the discussion that he had with Mayor West. _Peter Griffin plus fur trader equals millions of money_. "Yep, I'm going to be a fur trader."

"What?" Lois suddenly spoke.

"That's right. I'm gonna be a big shot fur trader, just like the French and Indians," he answered his wife.

* * *

_A French trader was talking with a Native American. "Okay, so what do you got?" he asked._

_"Well, we got a couple bows, some arrows, a few tomahawks," the Native American answered as he pointed to the items that were lying in front of him._

_The French trader looked at the items. All seemed nice but he was looking for something more extra special. "Okay...well, actually I'm looking for something from an animal. You got any old teeth or clipped claws or anything animal-like?"_

_"Well, we do have all these fur pelts," the Native American answered as he pointed to a pile of fur pelts that they had hunted. "But we have enough and don't know what to do with the rest of these."_

_A small smile made it's way to the French's lips. "Furs, eh? I like it! Say, how about you and me go into business, eh? You give us French your furs, and we French give you our fancy silverware. What do you say?"_

_The Native American seemed a little skeptical at the Frenchman's offer. "Eh...I don't know."_

_In order to start the trade, the Frenchman pulled out a kettle that had intricate designs, "fancy...?" he asked with a glittering look in his eyes._

_The Native American's eyes bulged when he saw the lovely patterns on the kettle. "Whoa, that _is _fancy."_

_"Yes," the Frenchman nodded, "yes it is."_

_"Well, we'll have to work out the rough details on paper, but okay. I'm all for it," the Native American answered._

_"Nice," the Frenchman said with a satisfied smirk._

* * *

"And that's how the fur trade started," Peter said to the family.


	5. Competition

**I don't own Family Guy or Animaniacs**

**I also had major help with this chapter from Knight of Renaissance Light. Thanks again :)**

* * *

Deep inside a green forest, a little house stood. Inside a female mink with blond hair looked at herself in the mirror while combing her hair and humming a little tune. She had a look of disapproval on her face, for she was waiting for her boyfriend to call her. She turned her head and constantly checked her phone if she had any messages or if it was about to ring. The phone was not flashing a red color and nor was it going to ring. "He forgot again didn't he?" Minerva sighed with a shake of her head, "why am I not surprised?" She set her comb on the dresser and got up from the chair. She pirouetted over to her mirror and looked at her reflection. She smiled at herself and lightly raised her head in the air. "Well it's his loss then."

She marched over to the phone and picked up the receiver. When she was about to dial his number, her phone started to let out a loud ring. She pressed the answer button and put the phone close to her, "hello?" she answered.

"Minerva it's your mother!" a voice rang out.

_Oh no_ Minerva thought. "Mom," she softly began, "whatever man you have picked out, I'm not interested."

"But he's a good one," her mother said, "picture this. Tall, brown Elvis Presley-hair, jeans, a white shirt, leather jacket..."

Minerva's eyes opened wide when her mother mentioned Elvis Presley-hair. _Either my mom is psychic or she is looking at him right now. _"Mom," Minerva stopped her mother before she could contine any longer, "that's the boy that I am dating right now. How did you know?"

"Oh because I see him walking down the street when he left another girl's house," her mother answered.

Minerva scrunched her eyes and looked formed her hand into a fist. She hadn't expected such an action from him but since he did it behind her back, that angered her. "I will call you later," Minerva said as she shut the phone and slammed it back in it's place. _So much for being his girlfriend _she thought. _Well I am _not _going to spend the rest of the day crying over him. It's his loss! _

She stripped out of her night robe and wrapped a pink towel around her slim figure. The blond mink decided to take a dip in the lake and relax her nerves. Taking another pink towel, she wrapped her blond hair around it and took a small bag with her where she kept her clothes and other necessities. She walked out of the house and walked over to the lake.

* * *

"Here we are!" Peter said when he saw the sing that led them to the parking lot. He turned the car to the left and parked the car in one of the empty spots. He looked to his right and saw Bonnie and Joe parking the car next to his. He gave them a smile, got out of the car, and went over to the trunk of the car. "All right. You guys unpack, while_ I_ go searching for that…HOLY CRAP!"

To his shock, several cars were parked in the lot. Peter heard a loud whirring sound and from above he saw a high-tech helicopter hovered down towards the ground. The doors opened revealing an old man with a white mustache in a safari outfit.

Lois, who already got herself, Stewie, Brian, Chris, Meg, and Quagmire out of the car looked at the mustached man in surprise. "Daddy?" she said.

The man, named Carter Pewterschmidt, gave his daughter a smile. "Sweetheart, isn't this a surprise?" Then he looked at Peter and gave him a cold stare, "Griffin."

Lois nervously laughed. "Well, this is a surprise. What brings you here? You said you never wanted anything to do with nature."

"Yes. Yes I did. But desperate situations forced me to this. As for why, simply put, I'm going hunting," Carter answered as he clutched onto his hunting gun.

Peter looked at the hunting gun and then at Carter. "For what? A not-sucky attitude?" with that, he let out a nasal laugh.

Carter furrowed his eyebrows at him and said, "no, I'm mink hunting."

Peter's eyes light up when he said that. Since he was doing the same thing, he might as well spend some quality time with Carter as well. "That's great, so am I! Maybe we can hunt together, like father and son? What do ya say…Dad?" He hoped for Carter to smile and say yes.

"Yeah that would be great!" Carter said.

"Really?" Peter asked.

"No!" Carter yelled, "don't you understand sarcasm? First of all, you don't _deserve_ to call me Dad. Second of all, screw you Griffin! I'm getting that mink by myself, and I'm not going to let some fat boob stop me!"

Lois was getting a little worried about this. First off, she was against Peter hunting for animals and considering the relationship that Peter and her father shared, she knew that it wasn't going to end well. "But why, daddy?" she asked.

"Well, you see sweetie, your mother's birthday is tomorrow," Carter answered.

Lois put her hand over her eyes and let out a sigh, "Daddy, please tell me you didn't forget to get Mom a birthday present, did you?"

Carter took a deep breath and said, "Well, how was _I_ supposed to know it was tomorrow? Anyway, for the past week, I've been trying to get your mother a gift. Naturally I tried re-gifting your mother's jewelry, but someone apparently let slip of that."

Lois gave him a little glare when he mentioned that he had re-gifted her mother's jewelry.

"Don't look at me like that," Carter said as her expression softened, "so I thought of giving her a fur coat. Lord knows how long I haven't done that. But all of the rich person clothes stores said the same thing, they no longer make fur coats. Those stores had to sell only those cheap "faux" coats. Damned PETA!" he snapped as he raised his fist to the sky. "Then a mole of mine informed me that there was a mink in this forest. So I intend to hunt it down, shave its fur, and make it myself."

"Huh," Peter said, "well that seems reasonable. I mean, a man wants nothing less than the best for his wife. I mean, maybe it could dwindle all his life savings. Maybe it could force into demeaning himself for spare change. And maybe it could go as far as to force him into killing the president. But I guess marriage is more important than all that. So I can see where you're going at, Mr. Pewterschmidt." Peter took a step away from Carter and grabbed the car's door handle with his hand, "so we'll happily get out of…WAIT A MINUTE!" he yelled as he removed his hand from the door and walked up to Carter, "you're not getting that mink's fur! If anybody, it's gonna be me!

When Peter said that, Joe and Quagmire gave him a glare. "What about us?" Joe asked.

"Yeah," Quagmire jumped in.

"We'll share it," Peter told him, "but I'm not sharing it with you because you are a meanie!" he yelled in a child-like voice as he pointed at Carter.

"I'd like to see you try," Carter challenged him.

Suddenly out of one of the cars, a Hispanic maid in green camouflage clothes stepped out with a rifle in her clutches. Lois looked at her and said, "Consuela?"

"Oh, hello Mrs. Griffin," she greeted her with a Spanish accent.

"What are you doing here?" Lois asked.

"I go hunting for mink," Consuela answered her.

_Why is everyone so interested to hunt for this mink? _Lois thought, "but why?"

"The fur, it keep me warm at night."

"Well, why don't you just turn up your thermostat?" Lois suggested.

"No, no, no. It too complicated," Consuela answered.

"Actually, you just turn it on and-" Lois tried to explain it to the maid but she got interrupted.

"No, no, no," Consuela shook her head, "I hunt for fur."

Peter looked from Carter and then at Consuela, "looks like we have a little competition going on. He walked over to Joe and Quagmire. "Let's go you guys, we're setting up a camping site and be the first ones to find that mink."

"HA!" Carter laughed, "not if I find it first!"

"Me first," Consuela said.

Peter, Carter, and Consuela parted ways as each person went to an individual direction. Suddenly, a Channel Five News van came driving into the parking area outside the forest. A man with a brown mustache came out of the van along with another man holding a recording camera. The cameraman signaled the countdown till they're live.

"Good afternoon. This is Channel Five News with Tom Tucker reporting live outside the Quahog National Forest," the news reporter said to the camera. He suddenly turned around and looked at him, "damn it! I wanted to be the first to arrive, damn it Diane! You take forever to put on your make-up!"

"Sorry Tom," a woman in a red suit said as she walked up to the camera while holding a microphone, "and I am Diane Simmons," she continued the exact routine that they had to do on air.

"Here in this forest lives some of the East Coast's most abundant flora and fauna," Tom said as he waved his hand over to the forest. He turned his head and looked at Diane, "'Flora and fauna?' Are-are you sure that's how they say it?" Diane shook her head, "oh, it is? Oh. Well, I just learned something new today." He turned his head and looked back at the camera, "but today, this reporter is planning an excursion into these woods so that I may capture up-close live footage of one of North America's rarest rodents, the American mink. Today, the only recordings of minks are those in captivity, but I intend to capture this elusive creature in its natural habitat. This is Tom Tucker signing off for now, but stay tuned when I make way to find the reclusive mink."

With that, Tom ran back into the van. The camera zoomed into Diane's face and she held the microphone up her lips and said, "not if I do first!"


	6. Peter's Hunting Dog

**I don't own Family Guy or Animaniacs.**

**The beginning is from the short "Meet Minerva"**

**Thank you to Knight of Renaissance Light for the help**

* * *

Minerva had passed through a bunch of wildlife critters who had stopped and stared at her. She casually passed them with a smile on her face but all the males would keep oogling at her causing the females to get jealous. She knew that she was pretty but why were her feminine charms not attracting the right guy that she always dreamed? She didn't want to grow old and live all by herself. She wanted that perfect and handsome man to hug and kiss her all day and night long.

She set down her bag of toiletries on the ground and slowly began to take off her pink towel that she had wrapped around her slim figure. "Hello nurse!" she heard behind her as she immediately wrapped her towel around herself. She turned to her right and saw Yakko and Wakko staring at her with their tongues drooping out of their mouth.

Suddenly, their little sister named Dot jumped in front of them and folded them inside a suitcase. She shut the suitcase and said to Minerva with a smile, "boys," and she picked up the suitcase and left.

Turning to the audience, Minerva asked, "can't a girl get any privacy?" With that, she lowered down a salmon colored shade and stripped the towel off her body and elegantly entered the pond.

* * *

The Griffins along with Joe and Quagmire were trying to find the right site to camp in. Joe, Bonnie, and Quagmire had split up to find an empty camping site that they could share with one another. Lois felt like she had been walking for hours but all the places that they had looked in were occupied with other campers.

"Jesus Christ," Peter suddenly said as they passed by a group of campers, "all this commotion for one little mink."

"Mr. West said it's fur was rare," Meg reminded him.

"Of course he did I'm not deaf Meg!" Peter snapped at his daughter. Peter stopped walking when a rustling was heard from within the bushes. "Shh," he shushed his family, "this could be the mink." When someone jumped out of the bushes, Peter trapped them inside a net that he was carrying with him.

"Ahh! Peter what the hell?" It was none other than Quagmire.

"Oops, sorry Quagmire I thought you were the mink," Peter apologized as he got him out of the net.

"Do I like a mink Peter?" Quagmire asked. Peter was about to say something but Quagmire interrupted him. "Anyway, Joe and Bonnie just found this camping site where we can camp."

"Oh that's wonderful," Lois spoke up, "now we take a little break."

The Griffins followed Quagmire into the bushes. They came upon an empty green field that had lots of bushes and a little pond. "You like it?" Quagmire asked as he swayed his arm over the panorama.

"Eh," Peter said as he surveyed their portion of the camp, "where would we hook the t.v?"

"T.V.?" Joe echoed the word as he wheeled himself towards his friends, "Peter we're in the middle of a forest. We can't get electricity in here."

"Aw man," Peter moaned, "that means I packed that extra luggage for nothing."

Lois furrowed her eyebrows and glared at her husband. "What extra luggage?" she asked.

Peter put his hands behind his back and tip-toed back and forth. "Nothing," he innocently replied. He took out a bag from inside another and set it on the ground. "Now how do we set up a tent?"

"In the directions," Lois answered as she grabbed a folded white paper that was resting on the bag and scanned over the directions.

"I'll help," Joe offered as he and Lois got to work on the tent, "sometimes these suckers are hard to fix."

"Gee thanks for offering Joe," Peter said, "now I can think of ways in catching that mink." Quagmire took out his rifle and loaded it with a couple of bullets. "Whoa Quagmire, point that elsewhere before you shoot somebody," he ordered as he lowered the rifle to the ground. "If we want to get that mink, we have to track it down, not scare it. I'm going to need something like a...uh, hunting dog!" Peter broadly smiled as an idea hit him. He turned his head and looked at the viewers. "Hey kids!" he enthusiastically said, "who would make a great hunting dog?"

The screen moved over to a white Labrador who was wearing a pink shirt, blue pants, sandals, and a gold earring in one ear. "Is it Brian's gay cousin, Jasper?"

"Hi everybody," Jasper greeted the crowd.

"No!" a couple of child like voices answered Peter.

Then the screen panned over to a brown scruffy dog known as New Brian.

"Is it…New Brian?" Peter asked them.

New Brian smiled at the screen and waved his paw, "hey kids. Everything today is just super, even though our director paid me for only this one cameo."

"No!" the kids answered.

The screen suddenly panned towards Meg who was applying bug spray on her arms.

"Is it…Meg?" Peter asked as he jumped in front of her.

Meg's eyes widened as she looked from he father and than at the television. "What's going on? Why are all those kids watching me?"

"Yeah!" the kids enthusiastically yelled.

Peter furrowed his eyebrows as he came up to screen in frustration. "No it's _definitely_ not Meg!" he snapped at the screen, "bunch of invisible idiots," he muttered to himself. He immediately put a smile on his face when the screen panned over to Brian who was consuming a martini. "But is it...Brian?"

"Yeah!" the kids screamed.

"That's settled then. Brian, you're my hunting dog."

"Peter, that has got to be the most retarded thing I ever heard. I'm not a hunting dog," Brian said as he folded his arms across his chest.

"Brian," Peter calmly spoke, "are you my dog?"

"Yes," Brian nodded.

"And what are we doing right now?"

"Hunting."

"Then that means you're my hunting dog!"

"Come on, Peter! You know how I hate hunting dogs!" Brian snapped, "they're a group of pompous bastards who think they're all that just because they can give dead animals to their owners."

"Come on, Brian! It'll be great!" Peter urged him. He slowly pulled out a package of dog food from his pocket and sang, "I'll bring along those Beggin' Strips you like."

Brian looked at the bag with wide eyes and he found himself panting for the delicious treats. "With Thick Cut Hickory Smoked Flavor?" he asked.

"Maybe," Peter answered as he shook the bag in front of the dog's eyes.

"Fine," Brian agreed, "I'll do it, but please don't embarrass me while I'm-"

"Let the hunt begin!" Peter yelled as he pulled out a hunting horn and blew into it.

Brian let out a sigh and said, "this won't end well." Little did he know that there was only one certain mink that beheld that white rare fur.


	7. The Hunters

**I don't own Family Guy or Animaniacs**

**Thank you to Knight of Renaissance Light for some ideas :)  
**

* * *

After it was decided that Brian was going to be the hunting dog to find the mink, Peter and Quagmire were ready to set out on their mission to find her. "Shouldn't you stay a while longer?" Lois asked them after she was done setting up the tent and wiping a bead of sweat on her forehead.

"Awwwww," Peter and Quagmire whined in unison, "but Lois," Peter said as he held his arms out in front of him, "but the sun's going to set soon."

Lois frowned as she put her hands on her waist. "It's the middle of the afternoon," she reminded him. "Now you two get your lazy butts over to that picnic bench and eat a sandwich that Bonnie and I made. Then you go and hunt for that mink." With that, she turned on her heel and marched over to the picnic table where Bonnie and Joe were nibbling on some sandwiches.

Quagmire and Peter stared after her. "Pretty dominant woman,"Quagmire spoke, "al-right."

* * *

While the Griffins and Swansons were enjoying their lunch, Stewie off from his seat and decided to take a tour of the forest and see who else had decided to hunt for this rare mink. _Hmm if I let anyone touch it that is _Stewie thought.

"Hey," a voice suddenly said behind him. Stewie turned around and saw Brian standing next to him. "Mind if I tag along."

Stewie shrugged, "sure. I could use some company."

"So where are we headed?" Brian asked as the two began to walk around the forest.

"I'm just interested to see what other idiots have come into this forest to hunt for this special mink," Stewie answered as the two of them entered a section of the forest that was had a lot of people and tents set up. "Interesting," he said as he pushed away a couple of bushes and entered in with Brian following him.

Within the group, Stewie noticed a lot of people that he was familiar with. There was the Barbershop Quartet, Bertram, Bruce, Carl, Death himself, Jim Kaplan, Penelope, Seamus, Tomak and Bellgarde. "What the deuce?" Stewie said when he noticed Tom Tucker and Diane setting up their own tent.

"Just great," Brian scowled when he saw them, "whoever finds it will go public in time flat."

"I hope it's me," Stewie said.

"Why you?" Brian asked him.

"That mink is mine!" Stewie screamed, "all mine!" he emphasized his desire by launching his arms in the air. His outburst caused the other campers to turn their heads and look at him.

Brian hung back his head and let out a loud groan, "now look at what you did."

Four men in red suits, black pants, straw-colored hats, white shirts, and bow-ties opened their mouths and they began to sing a melody. "_We'll be the ones who will catch her_," they sang in unison.

"Why?" Stewie and Brian asked at the same time.

"_She has the voice...of an angel_."

"Well that answers that," Stewie said as they walked away from the Barbershop Quartet and went to look around at the other campers. Stewie halted in his steps when he noticed a familiar baby. "Well, well," he said as he walked up the baby, "if it isn't Bertram!"

The red headed baby gave him a cocky grin and folded his arms across his chest. "Might I say the same thing to you," Bertram replied, "seems a bit bizarre that you're out here on a camping trip."

"Yes I can see that," Stewie replied in the same way, "although I have the greatest ambition as to why I want that mink."

"So do I," Bertram shot back.

"Care to share?"

"Nope!"

"Me neither."

"He wants to make a blanket," Brian finally told Bertram.

"Blast!" Stewie shouted, "what part of I don't want to share don't you understand, dog?"

"Hah," Bertram laughed, "I'm going to make the same thing."

"And I'm not going to let you because that mink will be mine!" With that, Stewie turned around and marched away from his rival. While walking, the two Griffins came upon a a brown haired man with a mustache with a gold earring hanging off his ear.

"Oh hey ya'll," he greeted Brian and Stewie.

"I suppose you're here for the mink, right Bruce?" Brian asked.

"Oh yes," Bruce answered him, "but I don't want to hear a poor little creature like these other people are doing."

"Then why are you here?" Stewie asked, "or are you just enjoying a wonderful camping trip on such a sunny day?"

"Oh no," Bruce shook his head, "I want to take that mink and keep it as a pet. See I've had a couple of pets but they seem to run away and I can't find them. I've had a pet dog, pet cat, pet lizard..."

While Bruce was counting off his pets, Stewie and Brian looked at one another and silently agreed to walk away as quietly as possible from him. They took a step back, then another, and another until they weren't seen standing near Bruce. "...pet tiger," Bruce said but he suddenly looked around when the dog and the baby were nowhere in sight, "oh shoot, they're gone," he said.

As Brian and Stewie looked around for other familiar faces, the two came upon a very large male with straw-colored hair and a red cap that he wore sideways. "Hey it's Carl from the mini-mart," Brian brightly said as they walked over to him, "hey Carl."

"Hey Brian," Carl greeted him, "long time no see."

"Yeah it's been a while," Brian said, "so what are you doing here?"

Carl looked around to make sure that no one was paying attention. "You know about this whole mink thing?" he asked as both Brian and Stewie nodded, "I want to catch that mink."

"All of us do!" Stewie snapped, "what, are you going to make a purse or a fur coat?"

"No," Carl answered with a shake of his head, "I'm going to catch that mink because I want her all to myself. I have been watching some cartoons and she's in a couple of them. Ohh that voice, that body, those hair!"

"She's an actress?" Stewie asked.

"Oh yeah," Carl nodded in amusement, "and she's _sexy _too! That's how I like 'em."

_But you won't get her _Stewie thought after Brian bid farewell and they continued on their walk _because she'll be mine!_

After meeting up with Carl, the boys came upon a cloaked being that was carrying a scythe and had skeletal-like hands. "Death?" Brian and Stewie said in unison as they halted in their tracks when they saw the black cloak.

Death turned his hooded head towards the two of them. "Yeah?" he said, "is there anyone that should be taken care of?"

"Are you here to hunt for the mink too?" Stewie asked.

Death let out an annoyed groan. "That mink!" he said in exasperation as he waved his scythe in the air. Brian and Stewie dodged just in time before he cut off their heads. "She's been cheating me for far too long! Now," he gripped onto his scythe, "it's time to pay." Once he said that, he floated away from Stewie and Brian.

"And he always gets away with murder," Stewie said.

"Well yeah," Brian spoke, "he's Death. Anyway, all of us will get away with murder anyway since we're hunting for this mink."

"Did somebody say 'mink?'" a man with brown hair and a bright smile asked as he walked over to Brian and Stewie. Brian noticed that he was none another than Jim Kaplan, a con-man who always victimized the Griffins into buying some on his products. Brian's eye traveled over to a pink bottle that he was carrying in his left hand.

"What's that?" Brian asked as he pointed to the bottle.

"This is a hair product that I'm going to use to lure that mink to me," Jim explained as he held up the bottle.

"No it's not," Brian scowled at the pink bottle, "that's some cheap crap that you put in there and pasted a picture of a blond woman in a bikini just to commercialize it."

Jim shook the pink bottle as the liquid sloshed in the bottle. "This stuff is not cheap first of all and second, have you seen how lush her hair is? I have been trying to make her buy every single product of mine but she refuses."

Brian cocked an eyebrow, "she?" he asked.

"Yeah it's a she," Jim told him, "and I have been trying to sell things to her but she just won't buy them. However, since she takes good care of her hair then she wouldn't resist to buy this hair product."

As Brian was busy paying attention to Jim, Stewie suddenly noticed a little girl. She had curly locks with a pink ribbon in her hair, a white undershirt, a blue shirt, and black Mary Jane shoes. "Penelope?" he asked as he approached the girl.

The girl turned around and her face lit-up when she saw Stewie. "Stewie!" she shouted as she hugged him. "Long time no see."

"Might I say the same thing," Stewie said, "what are you doing here?" he suddenly realized something, "you're here for the mink right."

Penelope nodded her head. "I have seen that mink," she said, "and I can't wait to chop every single part of her body. I cannot even stand that incessant California valley-girl tone that she has."

_Looks like I have a little competition with Bertram and Penelope. Although, I do love Penelope's sadistic attitude towards this but no! I will not allow her nor even that Bertram to take her. She_'s _mine! _

"There you are Stewie," Brian said as he walked over to him. He halted in his tracks when he saw the girl that had tried to kill him in the past. "I'll see you over there," he said as he pointed at a random section of the forest and ran away from Penelope as quickly as he could. While running he bumped into someone and fell to the ground.

Standing above him was Seamus who looked almost like a pirate and had wooden arms and legs. "Have ya seen that mermaid anywhere?"

"What mermaid?" Brian asked, "we're not even close to the ocean."

"No, no, no," Seamus said as he picked up his binoculars that hung around his neck and looked through them, "I saw her here the last time. She has white skin, or fur I don't remember, and blond hair. That hair," he said as he looked through his binoculars and saw nothing but trees. "If I catch her, I'm gonna sell her to the Cirque de Soleil and make millions. _Then _they'll see that mermaids really exist!" He walked away from Brian as he went to pursue the "mermaid."

"Now that was strange," Stewie said as he approached Brian, "who in their right mind believes that mermaids live in the middle of the woods?"

"Who in their right mind even thinks that mermaids are real?" Brian challenged Stewie to answer. Just then, the two boys see two men with olive colored skin and long blond hair. It was none other than Tomak and Bellgarde.

"I can't wait to catch that mink," Tomak said, "it's been a while since we've eaten a delicacy like that."

"Same here," Bellgarde said.

When the two of them walked away, Brian looked down at Stewie. "All this for one mink," he said, "either they're gonna kill it, sell products to it, eat it, or make it pay."

"It's a she," Stewie reminded him, "with white fur, blond hair, and a California girl voice that Penelope finds annoying."

"I'm not com-wait what?" Brian asked when Stewie said all those details about this specific mink, "and they're all after the same one?"

"Duh."

_Why does she sound so familiar? _Brian thought as he pondered about this mink. He felt as if he had seen this mink before in a dream and also reality. Before he answered his own thoughts, Peter and Quagmire finally found them. "We've been looking all over for you," Peter said, "come on, I think Quagmire picked up the scent of this mink."

"Quagmire did?" Brian asked.

"It smelled like ladies perfume," Quagmire said, "pretty strange though."

"Then lead the way Brian," Peter said as he pointed to a random direction. At first, Brian felt like protesting but he knew that he wasn't going to get to a solution with Peter. So he obeyed his owner and tried to pick up the mink's scent. Little did he know that he was in for a surprise of his life.


	8. Crazy Carter

**I don't own Family Guy or Animaniacs. Reference to Meet Minerva**

**Thank you to Knight of Renaissance Light for some ideas :)  
**

* * *

To Stewie's dismay, he was left in the hands of Joe, Lois, and Bonnie while Peter, Quagmire, and Brian went to find the mink. The three men suddenly found themselves near the lake where the mink's home was. Peter pulled his binoculars up to his eyes and searched around the forest. He spotted a beach chair and something white sitting on it. He zoomed closer and saw a white mink with blond hair sun tanning in a pink bikini.

"Look," Peter whispered as she pointed to the beach chair, "there is it. Ain't it something? Look at all that fur. There's enough to make millions."

Quagmire pulled his own binoculars to his eyes and looked. His jaw dropped as he thought out loud, "yeah...sure is. A lot of fur on that...sexy chick."

"Yeah," Peter agreed, "all right, now here's the plan. I'll get Brian to scare it over to you. Then you catch it with your net. We'll drag it over to Mayor West, collect our millions and go home."

"Or...or...I'll go over there and uhh...convince her to join for a little drink. I get her drunk. We bring her to  
Mayor West and...," Quagmire was suggesting until Peter interrupted him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa," Peter flapped his arms in front of them, "Quagmire, we've been friends for years and I know that look."

"What look?" Quagmire asked him.

"That look you get when you decide to bang a chick. We're here to get its fur, not to get you laid."

"What?" Quagmire sheepishly asked, "come on, Peter. You really think I would do that?"

"Oh really?" Peter asked as he pulled out a pile of Hustler issues. "Are you willing to swear it on this month's issues of Hustler?"

"Well when you say "swear it", did you mean that I should-"

"Quagmire..." Peter said in a warning tone of voice.

"All right," Quagmire confessed, "so maybe I am thinking of screwing that mink. I mean, come on Peter. She's smoking. Besides, I can tell she hasn't been laid. And you know what happens when a virgin model is in range of the Q-Man. BOOM!" he yelled as he thrust his pelvis forward.

"Quagmire, she's not even human!" Peter reminded him.

"Yeah and that's considered bestiality," Brain suddenly jumped in.

"So what?" Quagmire shrugged his shoulders and Peter and Brian, "it's not the first time I did it with an animal. The fact that she's a carnivore makes her feisty in bed. OH!"

Peter put his hand on his head. "Oh, come on Quagmire! Whatever happened to making big bucks?"

"Peter, it's me, Quagmire," the sexually heated man reminded his friend as if he already didn't know, "banging women is what I do. Besides, you know the little Q's like a heat-seeking missile. She's unmarked territory and it's going in."

"Well then! The gloves are off, bud!" Peter almost shouted as he took off a white gloved and slapped Quagmire with it. "I challenge you to a duel! Whoever catches that mink first gets to do with her as he pleases. Deal?"

Quagmire held his hand forward and shook his hands with Peter. "And how, because I'm going to win." When he thrust his arms in the air the binoculars slipped out of his hands and fell onto the grass, "oops."

"Yeah?" Peter asked as he folded his arms across his chest, "we'll see about that."

While the two friends were fighting, Brian picked up the binoculars and directed them towards the beach chair. His hands shook as the binoculars almost slipped out of his grip. _Oh no! _he thought, _no, no, no, no, no! _That mink was none other than Minerva. The same mink that he had met at the restaurant and the same one that had appeared in his dream. "This can't be happening," he thought out in a whisper. _Not only that but everyone is after her._

Suddenly, a rustling came from the bushes as Brian let out a gasp and Peter and Quagmire halted their arguing. The three of them looked as some appeared from the bushed and jumped towards the beach chair where Minerva was sitting. The man was wearing a safari outfit and hat, he had a white mustache, and held a rifle in front of him. He pointed the rifle towards Minerva who was serenely painting her nails in a red nail polish.

Brain let out a gasp while Peter and Quagmire groaned when they saw Carter Pewterschmidt beating them to their prize.

"Your time is up mink," Carter said as he held the rifle directly towards her, "say your pwayews wabbit-I mean mink," he said in an Elemer Fudd-like voice.

Minerva put down the red nail polish down to the grass and waved her hands in the air to dry them. "Ho-hum where have I heard that saying before?" she calmly said.

Carter was caught off guard as he almost lowered his rifle and looked at her. Weren't animals supposed to be scared of hunters? Then why wasn't she scared that she had a gun being pointed directly at her face. He pushed the rifle into her chest causing her back to make contact with the back of the beach chair. She slowly looked up at him as she put her finger on the front sight and pushed it away from her. "You shouldn't play with guns," she calmly said, "they are dangerous."

"That's the point in having a gun," Carter told her, "you know, shouldn't you be running away from me since I have put your life in danger."

"I already took a jog in the morning," she said as she swung her legs over the beach chair and got up. She flipped her luscious blond hair over her shoulder. "I was just taking a tan until someone's shadow decided to interrupt it for me."

"Huh," Peter suddenly said as he was overhearing their conversation, "who's shadow is she talking about?"

Neither Quagmire or Brian answered. They were too busy oogling at Minerva's curvaceous body. "Damn look at that body," Quagmire whispered.

"Well I'm going to do more than interrupt your tanning session," Carter gruffly said, "and that's you little, pretty, awesome, vivacious, ohhh," Carter drooled when Minerva began to wrap her blond tail around his leg and bat her eyelashes at him.

Carter gradually lowered his gun as it slipped out of his hands and onto the grass.

Quagmire clenched his hand into fists as she stomped his foot to the ground. "Damn it!" he snapped, "that old man got with the mink! What is this? A Lolita moment?"

Minerva squeezed her tail around his leg and pulled him down to the ground. "You were saying...?" she smoothly said as he his eyes bounced from the sky and onto her gorgeous face.

When her tail unwrapped itself from his leg, Minerva stared down at her foot and saw that the nail polish had been smeared. "Oh gosh," she said as she walked back towards the beach chair and sat down. She took her nail polish and repainted her nail.

Carter jumped onto his feet and marched towards her. "I am going to let your damned feminine charms get the best of me." He bought his face close enough to hers.

Minerva blinked two times. "Could you do me a...favor?"At the same time, the bikini strap slowly slipped off her shoulder and down her arm.

Carter backed away as he rubbed his eyes with his hands and looked back at her again.

Minerva leaned back in her chair and held her leg directly under his nose, "these are wet," she said as she softly shook her leg in front of him, "could you blow on them for me?"

"You want me to do-ohhhhhhhhh," he breathed when Minerva shook her toes in front of his eyes. Carter looked at her tiny manicured toes as he began to thump his foot to the ground.

Minerva leaned back on her chair as she looked at Carter's behavior in amusement. He created a cloud of dirt under his foot, twisted his body around, and began to say a bunch of gibberish words. "Ooh baby that's what I like!" he yelled after his speech cleared. "YIPEE!" he shouted as he began to bounce off the trees, the grass, and directly into the pond.

Minerva turned her head to the right and held her arm toward her face before the water splashed on her. "I suppose that's enough tanning for today," she said as she elegantly got up from the beach chair, gathered her items, and headed inside her house.

"Damn," Peter said, "just look at what happened."

Carter's arm shot up from the pond as he pulled himself out of the water. He coughed out the excess water that had entered into his throat as he straightened himself and wrung out the water from his clothes. "Damned that mink with those sexy looks," Carter mumbled as he picked up his rifle and walked away from the house.

"Guys," Peter spoke after Carter had disappeared into the bushes, "this is going to be a challenge for us." With that the two men walked away from the bushes to go and join their family to tell them that they had found the mink. Brian turned his head to look back at the house before he joined his owner.


	9. Turned On Tom

**I don't own Family Guy or Animaniacs.**

**Reference to Moon Over Minerva**

* * *

"Lois!" Peter called as he, Quagmire, and Brain arrived at their camp site. Lois turned around and at them. "So we found the mink along with your father."

Lois gasped, "is daddy alright?"

"Yeah," Quagmire answered her. _Until the moment he threw himself in the lake _he thought but decided not to share it to her. "The mink didn't attack him or anything if that's what you're asking."

"Well thank goodness that they're both alright," Lois said, "I just can't believe that daddy would forget to get my mother a present and he's out to hunt for this mink."

"No worries Lois," Peter assured her, "that mink is as good as ours."

Lois frowned at her husband when he said that. "Peter," she began, "you're risking an innocent life here. Are you sure that you're willing to live with such a bad conscience?"

_Let's see _Peter pondered her question. _Mink plus Peter plus Mayor West equals money, money, money. I can do anything with those millions that West could offer us. _"Nah, we're going as planned."

Brian let out a sigh when Peter quickly came to his decision. He was willing to protest but he didn't want the others to think that he was in love with something that they were going to kill and sell. _Why is it that anyone I love breaks up with me or winds up dead? _"Maybe there could be another mink around this forest or something."

"Hell no Brian," Peter said, "this was the only white mink that we saw and we're gettin' it if it's the last thing we do."

Brian frowned. If Peter wasn't going to stop his hunt for the mink, then he was willing to go back to that house and warn her about all these people that were camped out into this forest. When the Griffins had their backs turned on him, Brian took a step back then another. Suddenly, he turned his whole body around and ran away from them.

As the white lab was running through the bushes, he pushed away two bushes that were blocking hid path and found the same house right by the pond where he, Peter, and Quagmire were minutes ago. His eyes bounced over to the house where he saw the female white mink walking out.

Minerva shut the door behind her and walked over to a large rock that was right by the pond. She was wearing a blue shirt and a long maroon dress and in her left hand, she held onto a book.

Brian watched as she sat down on the rock and pulled out a gold key from inside her shirt. The white lab found his tail wagging when he witnessed that sort of action from her. He saw as she unlocked her book with the gold key and putting the key back into her shirt.

"Dear Diary," Minerva began to write, "yet another lonely day. I still haven't found that warm and compatible guy for me. What am I to do? Even though I broke up with that hurtful mink I always imagine myself in the arms of that warm and compassionate white dog that I met in the restaurant," she stopped writing and looked up from her book, "I guess I might never see him again. Until next time, your faithful servant Minerva Mink." She closed her book and lay her delicate hand upon the book.

Brian heard everything that she said. He had the urge to jump out of the bushes and run towards her. He got himself out of the bushes and walked over to her. She flipped her blond hair over her shoulder and Brian felt a couple strands of her hair hitting him on the nose. "Uhhh," he uneasily said, "hey...Minerva."

Minerva's ears perked up when she heard her name under an unfamiliar voice. She slowly turned her head and looked behind her. "Yes?" she said as she looked at Brian.

Brian's jaw dropped that she didn't recognize her. He wasn't that different from the time that he saw her until now. Well, except that he was wearing a tuxedo during that time. "You don't remember me?" he asked her.

Minerva slightly cocked her head to the right as she lowered her eyelids. "Have we met?" she asked him.

"Yes," Brian nodded his head, "at the restaurant remember?"

Before Minerva could open her mouth, a man with a brown mustache and a blue suit appeared as he held a microphone close to his lips. "Good afternoon this is Tom Tucker," he said to the cameraman that was following him around, "I have been in pursuit to find that American mink and this is where we find it." He threw his hand behind him and waved his hand up and down at Minerva.

Minerva threw her legs to the left side and looked at the camera in front of her. "Ooh," she said as she hopped off the rock and approached the camera, "I didn't know that some handsome man with a camera was going to come and film me."

"Handsome, yes," Tom said as he fixed his tie, "but I am not here to film _you_. I am here to film myself catching you."

"Hunting me?" the blond mink said as she put her hand on her chest and looked from Tom and then at the camera with her mouth open.

"Hey," Tom snapped his fingers at the camera as it panned towards him, "camera up here, not there."

"Why not?" Minerva spoke as the camera panned from Tom and then at the white mink, "am I stealing your thunder, lover boy?" she flipped her blond hair over her shoulder.

"Lover boy?" Tom echoed, "listen here mink," he bought his face closer to hers, "don't patro-whoa!" he said as he slowly pulled his face away from her, "might I say helloooooo nurse!"

A small shy smile crept up Minerva's lips as she clasped her hands in front of her and lifted up her shoulders. "Why's that?"

"You-you're face," Tom stuttered, "have you ever thought about making a public appearance on the news?"

"Sorry sugar I only make appearances on these magazines," she said as she whipped out a stack of magazines that had her face on it.

Tom was taken aback by her rejection. "But you will make millions of money hosting the news. Come on little mink, every news anchor needs to have a pretty little face by their side. Heck, I would even kick Diane out of the news team for you."

"Well when you put it that way," Minerva said as her eyes rolled to the sky, "no thank you. I am not interested in your offer I have other important things to do rather than hosting the news." She put her hands on her hips and strutted away from the camera as the cameraman zoomed closer to her and got a good look at her blond tail.

"Hey!" Tom yelled at the cameraman as he turned the camera and there was a close-up shot of Tom's frown. Tom turned his head to look at Minerva and ran after her. He jumped in her way and blocked her path.

Minerva folded her arms across her chest and looked up to see Tom looming over her. "How may I help you, news reporter?"

"You can...you can...uh..." his eyes almost bulged out of their sockets when they made their way towards her chest where he saw a little bit of cleavage poking out. "Pull down that shirt," he mumbled.

Minerva breathed out of her nose as she slightly turned her nose to the sky. "I suppose you want me to wear something sleek and scandalous."

Tom viciously nodded his head at her suggestion. "Yes, yes," he breathed. He crouched down and got to her eye level to get a better look at her big, sweet eyes.

Minerva's blond tail made it's way toward and tickled Tom under his chin. "And you might want me to whisper sweet nothings in your ear."

"No one has ever done that to me in a long time," Tom breathed out.

"And we might take a nice romantic walk under the moonlight," she said as she softly touched his face with her hand and slowly pulled it away.

"Oh boy," Tom mumbled through his gritted teeth.

_What is she even doing? _Brian thought. _Is she flirting with someone who wants to kill her for her fur?_ He would have left her there if he didn't care so much about her. However, he thought that Minerva was using the same tactics she used on Carter to get rid of him and maybe she was doing the same thing with Tom.

"And then I might want to plant a kiss on that button nose," the mink said as she puckered her lips and planted a little kiss on Tom's nose.

Tom pulled away as he put his hands on nose as if she had bit him. "I will cherish this moment forever," he said as he began to blush. "So how about that romantic walk under the moonlight? I'm interested and..." he pulled out his calender and flipped the pages. Every single day was marked FULL with a red marker but Tom threw the calender over his shoulder and said, "I'm free," he smiled.

"Well," Minerva softly said, "not in this lifetime bub!" she snapped as she pushed his face with her hand and walked away from him.

Tom got up from the ground and shook his head. "Was this a rejection?" he asked the cameraman who shook the camera up and down as if it was nodding 'yes.' "And now we turn to Ollie to give us the weather forecast, Ollie?"

"IT'S SUNNY!" Ollie yelled to the camera.

"Thanks Ollie, now back to suffering a heartbreak," Tom said as he got up from the ground and with his head hung, he walked away.

From within the bushes, Diane Simmons glared at Tom when he was talking about replacing her for that mink. "You'd better think twice before you act Tom," Diane dangerously said, "that mink will be mine and I will still be the pretty face on the news." With that, she disappeared within the forest.

Minerva walked back to Brian who had been waiting for her. "So," she began, "you were saying?"

"Is that how you get rid of others that are after you?" Brian asked her.

"They should know that I'm not interesting in them or whatever they're offering," Minerva said, "can't they take a hint?"

_I guess not _Brian thought. "A-anyway, I remember seeing you in that restaurant. You were wearing a blue dress and I asked if I could sit with you while you were waiting for your date."

Minerva put a hand on her hip and thought about that night. She did remember going to a restaurant and waiting for her former boyfriend to come. Her eyes lit up when she remembered that a white dog in a tuxedo sat down and they began to talk as if they had been long time friends. "And that was you?" she asked.

"Yes," Brian smiled as his tail began to wag. "I'm glad that you remember that night."

"Well thank you for reminding me," Minerva told him, "hey, I was planning on having a picnic and I don't have anyone to share it with. I was going to go berry picking after I pick some flowers, read a book, and get some sugar from a neighbor. Would you by any chance like to join me?"

"Why yes," Brian immediately agreed, "we can go flower picking now if you want."

"Great," Minerva said, "let me go and change out of these clothes." She turned around and walked over to her house and go and change.

_Jackpot _Brian thought as he smiled at her.


	10. Bumbling Barbershop Quartet

**I don't own Family Guy or Animaniacs.**

**Thanks to Knight of Renaissance Light for the Barbershop Quartet idea**

* * *

"Jeeze have any of you guys seen Brian?" Peter asked his family. He had realized that his dog was missing right after he had finished talking with Lois and Quagmire about the mink.

"I thought he was with you," Quagmire told him. "Wait a minute," he said as a realization hit him, "do you think he went to find that mink for himself."

"Nah," Peter ignored the thought, "Brian is a good dog and-wait a minute you could be right."

"Then we must find Brian before he takes the mink to Mayor West," Joe spoke as he rolled himself over to the group. "I'm sure you ladies wouldn't mind while we go and search for Brian and the mink."

Lois let out a defeated sigh. She had hoped to spend a peaceful day with her family instead of hunting for an innocent creature. Then again, she had Bonnie and her children to spend the day with.

"Can I come dad?" Chris excitedly asked Peter to join the group.

"Sure son," Peter nodded his head, "let's spend some father-son time."

"YAY!" Chris jumped in the air as he joined the group of men.

Stewie who was sitting in the tent overheard everything that the men were saying. It was too bad that they didn't invite him to tag along with them but Stewie was brewing a plan of his own to catch that mink all to himself. It was all a matter of time.

After the men had left, Lois sat down on the picnic table next to Bonnie. "I was looking forward at spending some quality time with my family," Lois told her, "but all they want to do is go out and hunt for this poor mink."

"I wanted to spend time with Joe too," Bonnie calmly said, "he has been working so hard in the police force these days that I barely had time to see him, but what can you do? Men will be men."

"But at least we have each other to talk to," a voice said as Bonnie and Lois turned their heads and saw Meg walking over to the picnic table.

"Sure," the two older women slowly dragged out the word as the teenager sat down with them.

* * *

Brian paced back and forth as he waited for Minerva to get out of the house. He wondered what was taking her so long to get ready. It wasn't as if they were on a date or anything...even though he took it that way. He suddenly looked up and saw the beautiful making her way towards him.

"Sorry about that Brian," she said as she swished her tail back and forth, "I wanted to slip into something more comfortable." She was wearing blue jeans and a lavender shirt and she was barefoot. To Brian, she looked very hot.

"Well shall we go and hunt for those flowers then," he asked her.

"And I bought this basket to put them in," Minerva held the basket over her head, "let's go. I know a filed where there's tons of daises." She grabbed Brian's hand and the two ran away from the pond in search of the field of daisies.

The white lab and mink suddenly came upon a filed that was filled with daisies. There wasn't a patch of grass anywhere to be seen for the white flowers were covering it up. "Perfect," Minerva said as she took a step into the field. She plucked a daisy and sniffed it. "Mmm," she breathed as she looked ahead of her with a dreamy-like look on her face, "it smells very sweet."

Brian walked up behind her, "so how many flowers do you need?"

"As many as you can find," she told him, "the more the better but we'll see how everything goes."

Brian gave her a delighted nod as he turned around and began to pluck some flowers. Once his back was turned, Minerva turned her attention back to the flower. Slowly, she began to gently pluck out the petals softly whispering "he loves me, he loves me not." Once there was a last petal on the flower, Minerva let out a sad sigh as she plucked out the petal and said, "he loves me not."

"Hey look at this," Brian said as she turned her head to look at him. In his hand, he held onto a bloody red rose. "I wonder how a rose would wind up in a field of daisies." He held his arm in front of him and waited for Minerva to take the flower.

Minerva gladly accepted the rose as she took it in her soft hands. Suddenly, she put the rose into her hair.

"Whoa," Brian said, "you look very nice."

"Thank you," Minerva smiled at him, "I will always cherish it."

Brian's heart began to palpitate. Had he heard her correctly? He shook his head and was transported back to reality and he began to help the mink gather some flowers for her picnic.

Minerva walked over to a patch of daisies. Once she held out her hand to pluck them out four men in straw-colored hats and red colored suits jumped out of the flowers. Minerva yelped as she jumped back and looked at the four men in surprise.

Brian's head shot up when he heard her yell. He ran over to her and helped her to her feet. "Are you alright?" he asked her.

"Hello," one with a deep voice sang.

"Hello," the tenor sang.

"Hello," the baritone sang.

"Hello," the high tenor sang.

Minerva put her hands on her hips and furrowed her eyebrows at the four men that had startled her. "Ugh," she scoffed, turning her full attention to Brian, "if there's anything I hate more than musicians, it's singing barbershop quartets." She turned her head and looked at them, "listen you four, do you sing everything you say?"

"Pretty much," the four men sang in unison.

Minerva face-plamed herself for asking such a question.

"It gets a little annoying, doesn't it?" the bass member asked.

Minerva slowly moved her hand away from her face and putting on the sweetest smile she could, she said, "well, actually it does. If you men think that you can sing, so can I."

The four men looked at each other with an amused look. "Ooh," they said in unison and turned they attention back to her. "Then might you sing something for us?" they asked.

"Well," Minerva thought about it, "alright." She put her hand over her throat as she cleared her throat. "It's not pretty being me, just try it and you'll see. It's harder than you think, to be gorgeous mink. La, la, la-la-la. It's not pretty being me."

"You have the voice of an angel," the lead tenor sang, "we consider you to join our group."

"We can even make you the leader of this troop," the high tenor, baritone, and the bass member sang.

"Hey," the lead tenor said as he turned around and looked at the other three with a disapproved look on his face, "but anything to have this girl in our group."

Minerva took a deep breath and held her nose in the air. "I'd rather sing with a crow," she said as she turned her back to them and walked away.

"Oh no," the bass member sang as his happy expression turned into a frown.

"Sorry Joe," Minerva said, "now let us be before we can disagree."

"But-but-but," the baritone sang as he walked up to her, "can't you just join our group. We won't disappoint and that's a guarantee," he sang as the other nodded their heads to her.

"Join, me? Never," Minerva said, "you might be very clever into letting me join your group but I don't want to be part of that loop."

"Aww," the four of them moaned as she threw her bond hair over her shoulder and walked over to Brian.

"I think that's enough flower picking for today," she told him, "let's go back to my house." With that, the two of them picked up the basket, passed by the Barbershop Quartet members and went over to Minerva's house.

"Why is she with that dog?" the high tenor sang.

"Oh God," the bass member sang as he hit his forehead with the palm of his hand.


	11. Brawling Babies and a Broken Brian

**I don't own Family Guy or Animaniacs.**

**Thanks to Knight of Renaissance Light for the suggestions on this chapter :)**

* * *

"There," Stewie said as he set down a weapon that he had made. He was lucky that Lois didn't noticed that he had carried an extra luggage into the car. In that luggage, he had filled a suitcase of dangerous supplies that he was planning to build a contraption. What he had built now was what he called a 'mink catcher.' It looked like a regular wood stick but on the base of the 'stick' was a red button and once that button was pressed, metal claws would reach out from the top of the stick, grab the mink, and squeeze the mink's throat until it's body goes limp. "It is simple, but I suppose that it will do," Stewie said as he picked up the stick and walked out of the tent.

Once he was out, he noticed that Lois, Bonnie, and Meg were in a deep conversation Stewie smiled to himself and took his chance at escaping from the teenager and the two grown-ups to go and find the mink.

* * *

Brian and Minerva returned back to her home. "I will just take these inside and come out in a bit," Minerva said as she took the basket filled with daisies in her hands and walked into the house.

"Sure," Brian called after her. He put his hand on his head and steadied himself on the grass as he sat down. _Man this is great! _he thought. _I just spent the afternoon with the hottest girl I have ever met. There's no possible way that I can hunt her down. There's something about her that's special. Forget the fur. _His eyes lit up and his tail began to wag when he saw the blond bombshell walk out of the house. She was wearing the same outfit but in her hand, she had a big book. The white Labrador got a good look at the book and saw that it was a book of recipes. "Why are you carrying that?" he asked her.

Minerva took the book in her hands and looked at it. "I prefer Chinese food but it wouldn't hurt to cook something once in a while. There's this berry pie recipe that I have been dying to try but I just couldn't find the time when I was dating that-" she shuddered whenever she thought of him, "cheater."

"He was that bad?" Brian asked her.

"More like controlling," Minerva answered as she set the book on the grass and sat down next to him, "I found out that he was cheating on me when my mother called."

"Yeah," Brian said as he put his hand behind his back, "I caught Rachel cheating on me with another guy."

"It's just sad," Minerva said, "you try your best to find someone you love only to have it blow up in your face."

Brian nodded his head. Right now, he didn't want to talk about his past with Rachel nor did he want to remember that event that he had seen that night when he walked home from the restaurant. "Shall we see that pie recipe now?"

"Lets," Minerva agreed as she opened the cover of the book and flipped through some pages. "I thought I saw it here somewhere," she mumbled as she flipped a couple of pages into the book. "There it is," she said as she pointed to the book that had a picture of a pie. "I have some of these ingredients in the house, but I don't have any sugar or any berries."

"To bad there aren't any grocery stores around here either," Brian commented.

"Oh I pick fresh berries," Minerva said, "they're in season and might I say they are delicious too. As for sugar, well I hope Slappy the Squirrel would offer me some."

"Whose Slappy?" Brian asked her.

"Just a neighbor of mine," Minerva answered him, "and she can be a grouchy thing."

"Well, well, well," a voice said behind them as Brian and Minerva turned around and they saw a baby with a tuft of orange hair on his head. "If it isn't the mink that I'm looking for."

Brian and Minerva leaped to their feet and Brian held his arms in front of Minerva to protect her. However, Minerva smiled as she slowly shook her head and lowered Brian's left arms so she could pass by. "And who's this cute little boy?" she said as she approached Bertram, not even minding that he was carrying a weapon in his hands.

"Back off mink," Bertram said as he thrust a gun towards her.

Minerva took a step back so the gun wouldn't make contact with her chest. She heard Brian gasp and whisper "careful." "You should know that little boys shouldn't play with dangerous weapons, like a gun for example," she softly said.

"Who are you? My mother?" he asked as he hoisted the gun towards her face. "I can do whatever I want with this gun and that's taking you down."

"Not if I do it first!" another voice said behind Bertram. The red-headed baby turned around and saw Stewie holding his weapon in front of him.

"Just try and get through me," a young female voice challenged them. When both boys turned around to look, they saw Penelope there with her own weapon in her hands.

Stewie glared at both Bertram and Penelope. He was overconfident enough that he would defeat Bertram but Penelope was going to be a little challenge considering that she was more evil and much of a genius than he was. "Well lady and gentleman," he spoke, "we can do this the easy way or the hard way. NOW BEAT IT! THAT MINK IS MINE!"

"Oh no you don't!" Bertram yelled as he thrust his weapon towards Stewie.

"Nu-uh the mink is mine!" Penelope snapped.

Stewie and Bertram turned their heads and looked at the sinister little girl. Bertram was the first to run towards Penelope and attack her to the grass but Stewie decided to jump in and fight. Bertram pulled on Penelope's curls only to have him nose shattered by her fist. Bertram's head flew towards Stewie's face and his hands let go of Bertram's clothes as he fell to the ground.

Minerva let out a soft yawn. _Of course, whenever anyone comes around with a gun or a dog they have to hunt me down. _Her eyes perked up when a realization hit her. _Dog? _She turned around and looked at Brian. Like Newt, he had to be somebody's owner who's trying to hunt her down. Was she falling for such a trick? Minerva furrowed her eyebrows, put her hands on her hips, and looked at Brian.

"What?" Brian asked, holding his hands out in front of him and giving her a shrug.

"Oh please," Minerva said, "are you somebody's pet?"

Brian was confused at her question. "I-" whatever he was about to say, Stewie interrupted him.

"Yeah he's my dog," Stewie told her as he got up from the ground, cleaned himself, and jumped back into the fight with Penelope and Bertram.

"Whatever it is that you're trying to do to me, it's not working," she said.

Brian's mouth hung open. _What the hell is she talking about? _he thought. _I'm not doing anything to her. _"What?" was all he could say to her.

"You're hunting me down aren't you?" she said, "I can't believe that I fell for some trick."

"What trick?" Brian asked her.

"Don't act so dumb," Minerva snapped, "why else would you be here? All dogs that come here are with their owners that are tying to hunt me down! Maybe you're one of them too!"

Brian was shocked to see such a sudden behavior in this mink. Sure, Peter had told him that he was supposed to hunt down this mink but it wasn't as if he was going to obey his owner. Scratch that. He was willing to hunt for a mink but he didn't know that this specific mink that everyone was after was going to be Minerva. "Well-" Brian was about to say but was interrupted by Minerva.

"Just as I thought," she said as she turned around and marched back into the house.

Brian cringed when the door slammed. "Oh God," he groaned as he hid his eyes behind his hands. Just when things were going great for him, they were ruined by Stewie, Penelope, and Bertram. The fighting between the three babies halted as Stewie victoriously walked out of the fight. "What happened there?" Brian asked.

Stewie turned his head and looked at a knocked out Bertram and Penelope. "Hmm," the baby shrugged, "they'll be fine." He looked left and right for the mink but she was nowhere to be seen, "where did the mink go?"

"While you guys were fighting, it left," Brian lied. Well it wasn't a total lie, but he wouldn't tell Stewie that she had gone back inside the house.

"We'll find it later Brian," Stewie said, "I'm hungry. Let's go back to the camp site and get something to eat."

Brian only nodded but as they were walking, he sadly turned his head to look at Minerva's house. He let out a sigh and turned the back of his head to the house.


	12. Scared Silly

**I don't own Family Guy or Animaniacs.**

* * *

Minerva slammed the recipe book onto a table as she clenched her hands into tight fists and stomped her foot on the ground. Just when she thought that she had found that special someone, he turned out to be someone that was out to hunt her. "Well whatever," she said as she tipped her head back and held her pink nose in the air, "I am not going to let some hunting dog ruin my schedule."

She walked into her kitchen and past the basket of daisies that she and Brian had picked together earlier in the day. Minerva turned her head and looked at the basket. She had the tendency to pick up those flowers and hurl them out of the house but something stopped her. Even though he had "betrayed" her, she had a good time picking those daisies with Brian. The mink averted her eyes from the flowers and picked up a small basket that she was going to fill with berries.

* * *

_Thanks a lot Stewie _Brian wanted to snap at the baby. The two of them had returned back to the camp site where they were welcomed by Lois, Bonnie, and Meg. Brian figured that the men had gone to search for the mink themselves.

"Oh and you found Stewie," Lois said as she picked up her baby and held him against her, "I was starting to get worried."

"Hmm of course you were," Stewie sarcastically replied.

"For a second I thought that Peter took him to go hunting," the red haired woman continued.

"What's so special about this mink?" Meg suddenly asked her parents.

Without thinking, Brian blurted, "SHE'S BEAUTIFUL!" which, made Meg, Lois, and Bonnie turn their heads to look at him. "Uh...beautiful fur I mean," he quickly hid his liking for her.

"You saw the mink?" Bonnie asked.

Brian nodded his head, "and that's why Mayor West wants her. She-it's got beautiful fur and like he said, it's fur is rare." He had the need to be far away from the Griffins and on his own for a while. "You know Lois," he began, "I have been with Stewie the whole time and I need some time to myself just to clear my head." Without even waiting for her to respond, Brian quickly turned his back on the women and walked away.

Once he was a good distance away from them, he charged through the forest to find Minerva's house. Once he got there, he ran up to the doorstep and knocked on the door a couple of times. There was no response from her. _Damn it where is she?_ Brian thought. He suddenly remembered that she wanted to make a pie and she mentioned that she picked fresh berries from the bushes.

_Maybe I'll find her there. If I can find any bushes filled with berries _he thought as he left her house and went to look for her.

* * *

Minerva hummed as she spotted a live green bush filled with red berries. "Ooh those are perfect," she said as she put the basket on the ground and sat down next to the bush. She slowly picked out the ripe berries and put them in the basket.

There was a sudden rustling in the bushes. Minerva's ears perked up and she turned her head to look. From the bushes, a man with a smile on his face who was also holding a cage walked over to her. "Well hello there little mink," he said in a slight tenor voice.

Minerva let out a little sigh as she got up on her toes and looked at him. "And you are?" she asked as she put her hands on her hips.

"The name's Bruce," he said, "nice to meet ya'll," he said as he took her hand in his and shook it.

Minerva knowingly nodded her head. "And let me guess," she began, "you are here to hunt me for my fur right?"

"Oh no," Bruce immediately answered as he held his hands out in front of him, "I wouldn't hunt down an innocent animal. No, I was just going to take you in as a pet. See, my pets keep running away from me and I decided to take a chance and try a mink as a pet."

"And you want me to be your pet?" Minerva asked.

"Yeah," Bruce nodded.

Minerva gave him a sly smile. _Another chance to shoo one of these men away _she though as she walked up to him. "Now why would you want to have a met like me?" she asked.

"Well for starters, minks can be kept as pets and they are usually very sweet to their owners once they can get used to them," Bruce told her.

Minerva nodded her head, "but not wild minks," she said. "You see, I was raised in the wild and by that term, I am the type of pet that you don't want in the house."

"I'm a good owner to the pets that I had before they ran away. I don't see what's wrong in trying you out as a pet," he said.

Minerva shook her head. There had to be some other way to make this guy get away from her. She had tried all of her charismatic attitudes towards the last hunters so this time she was willing to try something very different. She had to find her inner mink attitude. _Well why not? I am a mink _she thought as an idea struck her.

She put her hands on the ground and furrowed her eyebrows at Bruce.

"What are you doing?" he asked as he took a step back when she arched her back and let a hiss escape from her throat. Bruce immediately took a step back from her. "I-I-I didn't mean to threaten ya'll."

"Well you certainly are," Minerva hissed as she lashed her blond tail forward that caused Bruce to take a bunch of steps back. She leaped closer to him and grabbed his leg with her tail and pulled him down where his back made contact with the ground.

Bruce dug his nails to the ground and thrashed his legs around to free himself from her grip. Suddenly, Minerva opened her mouth and let out a high pitched shriek. Her scream was followed by Bruce's. He clutched her fluffy tail and tried to remove it from his leg.

Seeing that she had achieved in scaring him, Minerva let go of his tail and Bruce immediately leaped to his feet and ran away from her.

"And my work here is done," she said as she picked up her basket and walked away from the bushes.


	13. Captivated Carl

**I don't own Family Guy or Animaniacs.**

* * *

The grass rustled beneath Brian's paws as he ran over to the bushes. To his dismay, Minerva was nowhere to be seen. "Damn it," he groaned he came upon an unoccupied bush. However, a sweet smell wafted towards his nose. The white lab lowered himself to the ground and sniffed the grass. That same sweet aroma associated Minerva, so Brian used his nose to search for her.

A high pitched scream approached him as Brian's head snapped in the air and saw Bruce running towards him. The frightened man had his arms in the air and he was running as if he was being chased by a lion. He stopped in front of Brian and panted, "don't let that mink come near you little guy! She tried to kill me!" he ran past Brian and disappeared into the distance.

Brian got up from the ground and looked after him. _I didn't know that she was dangerous. Well unless you make her angry._ He let out a sigh as he proceeded to find her.

* * *

Minerva hummed a cheery tune as she swung her basket of berries and walked from tree to tree. "Now where is that squirrel's tree?" she thought out loud as she set her basket on the ground. This was her first time visiting the famous grump squirrel named Slappy but she shared her forest home with her and her little nephew. She turned her head and saw a little brown squirrel happily walking towards her. Her eyes brightened up when she noticed that it was Skippy Squirrel, Slappy's nephew. "Hello," she greeted the little squirrel.

"Who are you?" Skippy reluctantly asked, hoping not to sound rude to her.

"Minerva Mink," she said as she took his hand in hers and shook it, "we haven't met before and neither have I met your aunt. I was just wondering if she has some sugar that I can use for a pie that I want to make."

Skippy nodded his head. "I think so," he said, "I'll take you to her."

"Thanks," Minerva said as she followed the little brown squirrel to his aunt's tree. The two suddenly came upon Slappy's home.

"Auntie," Skippy called as he and Minerva walked into the house, "someone's here to see you."

"If it's that Walter Wolf tell him he better get out before a dynamite hits him in the face and blows him to kingdom come!" a grouchy voice yelled at them from a different room.

Minerva's eyes widened at the senior squirrel's use of language but she suddenly chuckled. Slappy reappeared from the kitchen and into the living room where she came upon a mink and her nephew. "Hello," Minerva greeted her with a wave of her hand.

"What do you want?" Slappy asked as she put her hands on her hips and looked up and down at Minerva.

"I was just wondering if you had any sugar," Minerva spoke up.

Slappy rolled her eyes to the ceiling. She tured around and grumbled into the kitchen as she opened a cupboard, took out a bag that was labeled 'Sugar' and a cup and filled it with sugar. The senior squirrel grabbed the cup with her hand and walked back into the living room. She thrust the cup towards Minerva as the mink gently grabbed it out of her hands.

"Thank you," Minerva thanked her as she turned around and left the tree house.

"And next time, buy the sugar!" Slappy called after her as she slammed the door shut.

Minerva ignored her remark and picked up her basket and proceeded. If she wanted to have a picnic at this time of day, she had to hurry back home. That is, if no obstacles blocked her path. Minerva suddenly stopped when a soft grumbling noise made its way to her ears. She put her hand on her stomach and smugly smiled. "Well you can't go home on an empty stomach," she said as she reached into her basket and grabbed a berry. She popped the fruit in her mouth as she bit into it and let the juice splash all over her mouth. "That's good," she commented.

Hiding from within the bushes, Carl turned his head when she heard her angelic voice. A wide smile was plastered over his face when he saw her nearing towards the bushes. Clutching a bunch of merchandise in his arms, he jumped out of the bushes and landed in front of her.

Minerva yelped as she took a step back and lost her footing. Her backside made contact with the ground as the berries spilled out of the basket. "UGGH!" she groaned as she threw her head towards the sky, "why can't you people leave me alone?" she snapped at Carl.

"Because you're just awesome!" Carl answered, "oh my God I am standing close to the one and only famous bombshell ever!"

Minerva got up from the ground and gathered as many berries as she could. "Minerva, Minerva, Minerva!" Carl called out to her as he held a comic book in front of her face. Minerva looked up and saw that the comic book had her picture on it. "Please, please, please, please can I have your autograph?"

Minerva closed one eye as if she was winking at him. "Why?" she asked.

"Because I am your biggest fan," he said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue pen.

Minerva sighed and took the pen, "fine." She put the tip of the pen on the comic book and wrote her name.

"YES!" Carl yelled, shooting his arms in the air, "and I have some more." He threw a pile of comic books, magazines, and movies towards her feet.

Minerva looked down and then at Carl with one furrowed eyebrow and the other arched, "and I suppose you want me to autograph all of these?"

"Yeah!" Carl nodded, hugging the autographed comic closer to his chest, "one autograph is not enough."

The mink rolled her eyes towards the sky. This fan was totally cutting into her picnic time. However, if she wanted to make him go away, then she would have to oblige to his needs. She picked up a magazine and autographed it as she did with the others. "Okay," she sighed as she put the last comic book in the pile, "all of these are autographed."

"Thank you," Carl said, "but I would also like a kiss and hug from you."

Minerva hit her head with her hand. "Fine," she said as she kissed her hand and swiped it over Carl's cheek.

"That was not even a kiss," he told her.

"And that's as close of a kiss as you're going to get from me," she glared. Before she knew it, Carl wrapped his large arms around her body and pulled her into a hug. Minerva let out a little groan, "he is so not the Wilford B. Wolf in his werewolf form." She pulled herself out of his grip and jumped back to the ground.

Carl's arms relaxed as he looked at Minerva with a dreamy look.

"Now that we got this over with-" Minerva began but before she could finish, Carl let out a dreamy sigh.

"I just hugged Minerva Mink," he said before he collapsed on the ground from being starstruck by a mink.

Seeing this as her chance of escape, Minerva picked up her basket and the cup of sugar and walked away from Carl.


	14. Fooled Ya

**I don't own Family Guy or Animaniacs.**

**Thank you to Knight of the Renaissance Light with the help on this chapter :)**

* * *

Brian would have given up searching for her if he hadn't developed a crush on Minerva. He had successfully sniffed her out and he found her right by her home. Minerva threw a red and white checkered cloth to the ground and gracefully sat on the fabric as she pulled her picnic basket towards her. His eyes brightened and he wagged his tail as he ran towards her. "Thank God I found you," he said.

Minerva looked up and furrowed her eyebrows. "Are you going to try and hunt me again?"

"What? No," Brian answered, "why would I want to do that?"

"That's what the baby said," Minerva answered as she avoided eye contact with him.

Brian shook his head, "forget about what Stewie said. The truth is that yes, my owner was planning to use me as a hunting dog and I was against it. Then when they used me to hunt you down, I was still against the idea until I found out that it was you."

This time, Minerva looked up. "So you weren't going to hunt me anyway?"

"Yes," Brian nodded his head, "that's what I was trying to tell you but then you left."

"In that case Brian," the mink said as she scooted to the right and made some room for him, "would you like to join me for a picnic?"

Brian smiled and walked over to her and sat down. "So what are we having?" he asked her.

Minerva reached into the basket and pulled out a freshly baked pie that she had made. "Pie," she answered, "it might not taste as good since I'm not the best cook around but we'll see how it has turned out." She looked up from the pie crust and then at Brian. A mischievous smile made its way to her lips, "would you...like me to feed you?"

"Well I can...ohhhh," Brian realized what she had meant to say. "Please do."

Minerva chuckled as she took out a fork from the picnic basket, plunged it into the pie crust, scooped up a little of the sweet dessert, and fed it to Brian.

* * *

Death floated through every part of the forest as he tried to find this mink. His intention wasn't to hunt her down. He wanted her to give him what was rightfully his and if she did, then he was going to leave her alone. If she didn't, then that would be a different story. _Killing her might be a better option _Death thought as he gripped onto his scythe. _That way I can have a hot girl in the underworld._

Death halted floating and hid behind a tree when he heard a soft giggle coming from within the trees. He peeked out and saw Minerva giggling as Brian nuzzled her. _Gotcha now! _Death thought as he floated over to her. "It's time to pay up!" he yelled as he held his scythe towards Minerva.

Minerva jumped from her seat and saw a black floating fabric hovering over them. "Who's in there?" she asked.

"You can't see me face! I'm Death!" he yelled.

"Uh-oh," Brian said as he held Minerva close to him. He felt her whole body quivering . "What's wrong?" he asked her but Minerva made no motion to open her mouth and explain. She was too frightened to speak when she saw a black floating piece of fabric hovering over them with a scythe. "What do you want?" Brian finally asked Death with a stern voice.

"This mink's time is up," Death snapped as he pointed his scythe at Minerva, "and it's her time to pay up."

"Pay up what?" Brian asked as he pulled Minerva close to him, "you're not insinuating something kinky are you?"

Death's arms fell to his side, "what?" he asked, "are you crazy to ask such a question? I'm not interested in that. No, she has to owe me money."

"What money?" Minerva asked as her voice came to her.

Death hung his head and let out a loud groan. "Hello?" he sternly said, "remember that time when I visited you here and asked you to take me place as a blackjack dealer in the Atlantic City Casino. I was suffering from a cold during that time and you promised to give me back that money when you had the chance."

"Well why didn't you say so?" Minerva said as she slowly pulled away from Brian's grip and reached into the pocket of her jeans, "I only made a thousand dollars in that job. Is that okay?"

Death grabbed the money out of her hand and counted it. There was a thousand dollars alright. "Good enough for me," he said. He threw his arms in the air and disappeared from them.

Brian looked at the empty place where Death once stood and looked at Minerva. "A thousand dollars as a blackjack dealer?"

"True story," Minerva smiled, "but the joke's on him. That money was fake for I spent the thousand dollars on a whole new wardrobe."

"Why you naughty girl," Brian shook a finger at her, causing Minerva to giggle. The two suddenly looked up when a rustling came from within the bushes. Brian stood up on his feet and stood in front of Minerva. He found himself growling at whoever was in the bushes. From within the bushes, a man with brown hair and a commercial-like smile walked out of the bushes and approached Brian and Minerva. "Oh," Brian said, "it's just Jim."

"That's right," Jim brightly answered, "none other than the famous Jim Kaplan here to sell you one of his famous shampoos for those blond luscious hair."

"Ooh," Minerva said as her eyes brightened. She gripped her blond hair with her hands and pulled them towards her eyes, "I might need to use some of that shampoo."

"No!" Brian flung his arms towards her and stopped her from going close to Jim. He softly gripped her wrists and whispered, "you don't want to use any of his stuff. He's going to sell you some cheap product and take all of your money."

"Are you sure?" Minerva asked.

"If I didn't warn you, I wouldn't be here," he told her.

Minerva looked from Brian and then at Jim. "Well," Minerva spoke, "thank you for the offer but I am all set with the bathing necessities."

"But you don't understand," Jim told her, "this product will make your blond hair stand out and make it soft and shiny in the process."

Minerva rolled her eyes to the skies and puckered her lips as if she was in deep thought whether or not to buy the product. "Well," she began, "I would lie to see how it affects someone before I try it. Can you show me?"

Believing that she was going to buy his "product" Jim brightly smiled and said, "sure!" he held his hand out and squeezed the frothy product into his hand. The color of the product was blue. "You just squeeze it into your hand, rub it around your hands, and smear it all over your hair. Of course you need to be in the shower while doing this process."

"Mm-hmm," Minerva nodded, "and why does the product turn your hair blue? Isn't shampoo supposed to foam and retain the same color of your hair?"

Jim suddenly realized what he had done. "DAMN IT!" he yelled, "just forget about it!" he yelled as he kicked the pink bottle away from his feet and ran away from Brian and Minerva.

"And that's why Death should have taken him when he had the chance," Brian commented.

"Agreed," Minerva nodded.


	15. Trapped

**I don't own Family Guy or Animaniacs.**

* * *

Chris yawned as he walked through the forest with his father and his friends. "When are we going to find this mink dad?" he asked for he was already getting exhausted walking around the forest.

"I don't know," Peter replied, "I feel like we've been walking in circles."

"That's because we have been walking in circles!" Joe snapped at him. That was the only logical explanation as to why the four of them had been looking at the same people gathered at the camp site for the past hour.

"I feel like I'm not going to get my million," Peter sadly said as he lowered his head to the ground.

"Forget that," Quagmire said, "I never got to bang that babe."

Joe raised an eyebrow and turned his head to look at his friend. "What?" he asked but before Quagmire could answer his question, there was a splash heard nearby. The three men and boy turned their heads as they ran towards the bushes where they heard the noise. Joe lowered his back and stretched his neck towards the bushes and pushed them away with his hands. In the pond, a blond white mink was swimming while a white dog looked at her while wagging his tail. "Isn't that Brian?" Joe asked.

"What? Let me see," Peter sad as he opened a space from within the bushes and looked in. His eyes grew wide when he saw Brian with the mink. "That little bastard has found the mink and didn't come to tell us about it?" he muttered through his teeth. "That traitor!"

"What's happening?" Quagmire asked them.

"Brian has found that mink and didn't come to tell us about it," Peter told him.

"Damn it!" Quagmire stomped his foot to the ground. "Then what are we going to do? Who knows? If we go to them right now, Brian might attack us and have that mink all to himself."

"Nah, Brian is not capable of that kind of thing," Peter dismissed the thought, "but I am as upset as you are. How about we lure Brian away from that mink and then we quickly attack her, take her to Mayo West, and get our millions."

Joe and Quagmire shrugged their shoulders. "It's worth a shot," Joe said.

* * *

Minerva giggled as Brian splashed her with the water. "Stop!" she laughed, "why don't you come in the pond, the water is nice?"

"Nah I'm good," Brian smiled at her. Minerva lightly glared but she gently swam towards the edge of the water and grabbed Brian by the collar and pulled him inside. "Hey!" Brian yelled as his head popped out of the water. He shook his head and sternly looked at Minerva. "That's gonna cost you one trip across my knee," he joked but Minerva's smile turned into a little scowl. "Oh, I'm sorry," Brian quickly said, "I didn't mean to sound that way."

Minerva shrugged her shoulders. "At least I got you into the pond," she said. She dragged her arm over the water and splashed Brian in the face.

Brian held his arm over his eyes but when he looked, Minerva was gone. "Alright, where did you go?"

Minerva popped out of the water and surprised him. "Here I am," she smiled as she grabbed him around the neck and pulled him into a kiss.

Brian was surprised at her sudden action. The kiss was wet and passionate. He put his hands around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

From the bushes, Quagmire's mouth hung open when he saw Brian kissing her. "Oh come on!" he yelled as he pulled his eyes away from the bushes, "that could have been me giving it to her."

"Giving her what?" Chris curiously asked.

"A classic time in bed," Quagmire dismissively answered as he turned his attention back to the dog and the mink.

While Brian and Minerva were sharing their special moment, a man that had wood for arms and legs waddled towards them. It was none other and Seamus Levine and he was in pursuit to grab Minerva and take her to the Cirque de Soleil. "Why hello there little mermaid," he greeted Minerva while craning his neck over the pond and looking down at her.

Minerva pulled away from Brian and looked up at the pirate. "You are?" she rolled her eyes.

"Me name is Seamus Levine and me here is to take ya with me," Seamus explained.

_Of courses _Minerva thought as she mentally rolled her eyes. "I am not a mermaid," she shook her head, "I have feet, see?" she said as she she sprung one leg out of the water and held it close to Seamus's eyes.

"Uhh..." Seamus fumbled to find the right words. "I thought that ye was a mermaid."

"I was in one comic," Minerva answered as she threw her blond hair over her shoulder, "but that's just fictional."

"Since you're not a mermaid, you're still coming with me!" Seamus said as he reached out his wooden arms to grab her but Minerva slowly swam away.

She squinted one eye and looked at the man's arms and legs and took note that they were made out of wood. She looked back at Brian and knowing that dog's loved to chase after sticks, a plan hatched up in her head. "Brian," she said, "would you be a dear and fetch those sticks that are flapping in front of me?"

Brian looked up and saw Seamus's wooden arms flapping. His tail wagged beneath the water as he jumped out of the pond and landed on top of the pirate. Seamus was caught by surprise but as Brian's jaws made contact with his wooden arm, this was where he started to scream. "Get away from me you ruffian!" he yelled as he waddled away while Brian continued to chase him.

Behind the bushes, Quagmire, Joe, Peter, and Chris continued to look at the scene. "Can you believe that guy?" Peter said, "he did what she told him to do!"

"Man I wish she told me something that I would do," Quagmire muttered.

"So the plan is all set then?" Peter asked his friends, "once Brian is away from that mink, we will go after her and get her."

"Right," Joe nodded and with that plan set in motion, the three men and boy disappeared into the distance and headed back to the families.

Seamus screamed as Brian continued to chase after him. To his dismay, he ran into a metal cage and was trapped in there. "What is this?" he panicked as he looked at the tight space around him.

Seeing that the pirate was trapped, Brian headed back to the pond. The metal cage was lifted in the air and two men looked at Seamus. "Is this the right mink?" Tomak asked Bellgarde.

Bellgarde shrugged his shoulders. "I have never seen such an ugly mink before."

Seamus turned his head and growled at Bellgarde. "Me not a mink," he growled.

"Careful it's a wild one," Tomak said.

"I heard that the wild ones are always the heartiest," Bellgarde smiled at his comrade as the two of them carried Seamus away from the pond and out of the forest.


	16. Peeping Tom

**I don't own Animaniacs or Family Guy**

**Thanks to Knight of Renaissance Light for the idea on Quagmire out seducing Minerva.**

* * *

The sun slowly began to set into the distance. Minerva had spent the remaining of her day with Brian looking at the sun while resting her head on his shoulder. Brian felt as if he was the luckiest guy in the world. Throughout his time with Minerva, his tail had been wagging and he just felt happy being with her.

Once the sun had set, Brian stood on his feet. "Well I think I should head back to my owner."

"Awh," Minerva whined, "I was hoping that you would stay a little longer."

Brian touched the back of his head with his hand. "Me too," he said, "but I don't want him worrying about where I've been. He might come looking for me and might find you."

"True," Minerva agreed with a nod of her head, "I should be going back home." She lightly tapped her mouth with her hand as a yawn escaped. "I'm tired."

"Then hopefully I will see you tomorrow," Brian said as he ran his hand over her cheek and pulled her into a kiss. He felt her arms around his back and she pulled him close towards her.

The two suddenly pulled away and she gave him a light wave before she disappeared into the forest and went inside her house.

"Time for me to head back," Brian said as he headed towards the opposite direction and went back to the campsite.

* * *

Minerva gently hugged a happy tune as she walked back into her home. "Ahh," she swooningly said as she put her back behind her doorway and slid to the ground, "what a nignt with one handsome boy." Her heart raced when she thought of sweet, intelligent Brian._ I felt like I underestimated him but he is wonderful _she thought. _But right now, you need to relax and take a warm shower and call it a night _she said as she got up from the ground.

The female mink walked over to her closet and eyed the various amounts of clothes that were in the there. "Hmm," she said as she looked at a pair fluffy pink pajamas, "these look comfortable."

* * *

From the outskirts of her home, the bushes rustled as Peter, Chris, Quagmire, and Joe appeared and looked at her residence. "I just saw her walking in there," Joe whispered.

"She was pretty," Chris commented as he had caught sight of Minerva walking in her home.

"Pretty enough to make a million dollars," Peter added as the three men and boy got out of the bushes and approached her home. "Are we clear on the plan?" he asked the four males one last time.

"Yeah," Quagmire said, "I sneak through her bedroom window and lie on her bed. She runs out of the house, trips over Chris, and is snatched by Joe."

"Meanwhile, what would you be doing Peter?" Joe asked him.

"I will be surveying the diabolical plan," he said. "Okay Quagmire, go!" Peter told him as Quagmire ran around the house until her found Minerva's bedroom. He put his hands on the windows and tried to push them open. "Ugh," he grunted as he pushed some more.

"Quagmire, what are you waiting for?" Peter asked as he looked at his friend. "Get in!"

"I can't open these windows," he said. He suddenly saw a figure walking into the room and he quickly ducked down before he could be seen. He slowly craned his neck to look and saw Minerva in the room holding on a pair of pajamas. "Holy crap," he said in awe as he stared at her.

Minerva crossed her arms below her shirt and was about to pull the shirt over her head to take it off. Before she continued, she turned her head and looked at the window. "I should probably close the shades," she said as she walked over the window and closed the shades.

"Damn it!" Quagmire cursed. However's Minerva's silhouette figure was seen through the shade as she took off her purple shirt and blue jeans. She threw her hair towards the floor and wrapped them in a towel. Then her silhouetted figure headed out of the room and to the bathroom. "To the bathroom!" Quagmire shouted as he ran around the house, past Peter, and to the bathroom window.

"Quagmire, come on!" Peter said, "stick with the plan."

To Peter's dismay, Quagmire paid no attention. He looked into the bathroom as Minerva walked in with a pink bathrobe. She hid herself behind the shower curtains and took off her robe. Then she stepped into the bathtub and all that was seen was her silhouette figure. "Man," he whined, "let me see your whole body!"

Joe's voice suddenly rang through the woods. "Is Quagmire in yet?" he asked.

"No!" Peter boomed, "Quagmire is too busy checking her out!"

The shower suddenly turned off. Quagmire hungirly waited for Minerva to step out of the shower but the steam wouldn't let him see anything. There was a sudden click at the windows and he quickly ducked to the ground while Peter flew into the bushes.

Minerva opened the windows and let the cool night air clean out the hot steam in her bathroom.

"Change of plans," Quagmire said, "I'll sneak through the bathroom and go to her room." He threw his arms over the windowsill and pushed his body over the window and into the bathroom. His body landed with a soft thud but he quickly scrambled to his feet and ran out of the room.

Peter got out of the bushes and ran back to Joe and Chris. "Alright he's in, get ready."

Joe stood ready with a brown bag open while Chris ran over to her house and crouched to the ground.


End file.
